This is Thin Privilege

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[tw: eating disorder, depression, doctors, fat shaming]

A few weeks ago I went to my psychiatrist to get my medication refilled. They commented on my recent weight loss, stating that it was “good”. I told them that it was not good, as I had been starving myself due to being severely depressed the past month. He then said, and I quote, “That’s good. As long as you loose the weight.”

skinnytroubles:

What do people want skinny people to do about thin privilege? (If you think it exists)
Like how are we supposed to stop it? What do you want from us??!! I don’t understand. When someone tells me I’m privileged I’m just like…okay? What do you want me to do? Tell people to stop treating me like I’m privileged? I just don’t get it. They think it’s something skinny people can control. And when they use that as a reason as to why I can’t be shamed is ridiculous. If you’re making comments about my body, I have the right to get mad.

Wow, the first honest confusion I’ve seen from an anti-thin-privilege reactionary.

You aren’t supposed to do anything about your privilege. It’s not bad to have privilege. It just is. Society is bigger than individuals in that we have little control at the margin (or even in medium-sized organized groups) over meta-stuff like moral panics, waves of bigotry, and social norms.  

The point is understanding. The point is seeing the world for what it really is. The point is using this new information about the world to make better choices in your own life. If many people do the same, then change can occur over time, in the aggregate (kind of like a societal phase transition. And yes I’ve been reading a lot about complex adaptive systems lately). 

Societies are networks of individuals which experience large-scale emergent phenomena that often aren’t changeable by any particular individual. Societies may alter over time, however, through shifts in generation attitudes, or after cultural shocks. 

So, basically, if you understand what we mean by unearned advantages (privilege), and how having it better than some other person by virtue of characteristics that have nothing to do with your skill, personality, or whatever elements of a person that could be called the real definable elements of their selves (and not just the arbitrary stuff they were born with or lucked into) doesn’t mean you are objectively better than that other person, then you’re one tick closer to shifting society in the right direction.

-ATL

Thin privilege is dreaming of meeting Mr. Right. 

I have been fat (and a large fat, at that) since I was a child. I have been bullied by students and teachers alike. Through that pain I was taught to believe that I didn’t want a relationship, kids, and all the other things everyone is supposed to want. 
By the time all the hormones started kicking in I was well aware that I was not considered attractive or beautiful by conventional standards. I was not going to have the typical teenage experience; there was going to be no boyfriend for me, no crazy parties, no dances, no high school sweetheart. This was consistently reinforced by the increased bullying behaviours of the boys in my classes - boys, who up until “girls” became a thing had no problem with me playing with them. But now that girls were I thing, I was disgusting. 
So, as a self-defence mechanism I started telling myself that I wasn’t interested. There would never be a big wedding for me, a husband, or kids - because I didn’t want that, and I framed the argument that I was a better human being for not wanting those things. I would be stronger for having done it alone. This was my mantra starting in grade 7. It was my mantra throughout all of high school, all of university, and a good portion of my mid-late twenties. The truth though is that those words have closed me off emotionally. I live in terror of forming close attachments; because I feel that I just wouldn’t be good enough - that I wouldn’t be beautiful enough, and my heart would be crushed. Better to leave it stone cold than to have it shatter, right? 
It is ingrained into my very existence. I rarely let people into my life. The thought of sex is at times disgusting, and where I once dreamed I could be a good mom is now replaced by disgust at the idea of even conceiving a child. 

The times I did reach out, it was painful. I lost my virginity at 23 to a man I was sincerely interested in, but who promptly told me that that night was a mistake. 
I let myself get trapped in an emotionally and mentally abusive relationship because I believed that it was the best I could hope for. 
I allowed myself to debase all my standards by spending a summer having meaningless hookups with men who viewed me as a fetish, because it was better than nothing, right? 

Thin privilege is growing up believing that you will have all the appropriate coming-of-age experiences, and that you will meet Mr. Right. Thin privilege is not being told your body is an impediment to those dreams.

Thin privilege is being able to go to an amusement park and know that you’ll fit on every ride.

I live close to Six Flags and like to ride roller coasters. However, due to being a size 22, the bars don’t come down enough for me to be cleared to ride. What’s even worse, is that unlike other parks I’ve been to, there’s only one coaster that has a test seat. So I’m tempting chance every time I get in line.

I fit on the tamer coasters that don’t have much more than ups and downs, but it’s a tight fit. I’ve actually lost 30 pounds since last summer and I had to walk of shame off of a coaster.

Just a test seat for the rides would be enough- at other parks they make it look like a photo op place too so it doesn’t seem like it’s the fat person test seat specifically.

tw: weight loss talk

I joined a gym in October.  The membership I agreed to included a few appointments with a trainer/”fitness coach”, the first of which involved the trainer taking measurements and weight.  When writing down my weight my trainer said, “We don’t ever want to see this number again.”

Months later, my trainer spotted me and reminded me to make an appointment for a progress review.  I freaked out.  I stepped on the scale in the locker room three times in a row and saw a number higher than the one from the initial appointment. I felt disappointed, ashamed.  My mind told me I couldn’t make an appointment for a progress review having made the exact opposite of “progress”.  I stopped going.

I expressed my anxiety to a friend who is also outside of the thin privilege realm and received the reply, “well as long as you don’t break (number).”

(Sorry this is so long but I think it’s important)
I never noticed the lack of representation for bigger girls in music until now. And it’s annoying. I have never seen a chubby girl in a music video. Not even in the background.

Not only is it annoying, but it’s unrealistic. The average music video usually involves a party of some sort. At no party in real life would everyone have the same body type. Im probably not the first person to say this and maybe it’s petty/stupid but I feel I have to say it.

Why is it that the only desirable girl in a music video has to be stick thin? Isn’t it possible that a guy could have a crush on/be chasing after a girl who’s not exactly societies version of “hot.” I wouldn’t say I’m huge but I’m definitely on the chubbier side.

It’s almost like no one would even consider that a guy would be singing about a girl whose bigger. The point is that when the people who make these music videos do this, it’s like they’re saying you can’t be desirable and also chubby/fat/etc.

I’m in no way trying to insult skinny people. Skinny is beautiful and just because a guy finds skinny girls attractive doesn’t mean they’re a dick. I’m not saying that. I’m just saying that fat can be just as beautiful and it’s also possible for a technically hot guy to find a bigger girl attractive and I just wish pop culture would address/represent that a little bit more.

shakethecobwebs:

people will always call out people for saying “fuck skinny bitches” but when the diet commercial comes on, when the fat jokes are being made, when conversations about how fat people are detriments to society are underway, when a size 6 expects her size 26 friend to go with her to the mall even though there ain’t shit for her fat ass there, when girls are saying “i can’t cut my hair short because my face would look fat” & “when i learned that drinking alcohol could make you gain weight i felt like my life was over!!!”, and when family/friends/TOTAL STRANGERS are saying “we’re just worried about your health” y’all STAY quiet

because body-shaming someone who “doesn’t deserve it” would be the worst thing you could do, right? 

(via sugaredvenom)

the-goddamazon:

the-bitch-goddess-success:

I cant even find panties in a department store that fit me and you really wanna talk about shaming? 

Fuck you.

The world worships thin people.

One song that says “fuck skinny bitches” when you got niggas like A$AP Rocky talmbout “you stuck wit a fat ho and she wanna stuff her face” and countless other fucking songs degrading big people.

Nicki Minaj isn’t even fucking fat! That song is literally for curvaceous but acceptably-sized women. “Little in the middle but she packs much back.”

Yet you’re going on a rant against fat women acting like we fucking bully skinny women? NOT A SINGLE WOMAN IN THE ANACONDA VIDEO WAS EVEN FAT. FUCK YOU.

^^^^^^^^^^^^

(via capncaptain)

Thin Privilege is not being labeled as an unfit mother

Thin privilege is not being labeled a bad mother because you are fat.
I’m fat so that automatically means my children are at risk for obesity.
I know what it’s like to grow up fat. I know what it’s like to be teased constantly and to never be able to shop at regular stores. I know what it’s like to not be wanted because I’m fat. I know what it feels like to be labeled lazy, greedy and ugly because I am fat. Do I want that for my children? Absolutely not.

Thin privilege is not having someone hope that my children get taken away because I look like an unfit mother, because I am fat.

Thin privilege is not having your family assume your bad eating habits will rub off on your children, when you are trying to eat better because of them.

We all know that being overweight can and usually just isn’t healthy.
That isn’t the point we are trying to make.
The fact is, fat, skinny, black, white, yellow, brown, gay, lesbian, trans or otherwise, we are all human beings capable of being loved and giving love. Even the biggest douchebag you can think of is deserving of love. If someone so hated can be loved by someone else, why can’t fat people be loved?

If I want to be fat and I am happy and I have people that love me, then what the hell is it to you? 

[tw: dieting, weight loss, eating disorders, “thinspiration”, healthism]

This article [https://uk.lifestyle.yahoo.com/blogs/icymi/-thinspiration—backlash—well-deserved-or-political-correctness-gone-too-far-130047278.html] was on the front of my homepage today:

What is more, Richman’s main critic, a woman called Amber Sarah, has publically labelled herself “a fat activist.”

While she didn’t deserve to be called any names, we’re not convinced that the body image she advocates is any healthier than the one she is attacking.

Shaming someone for their use of the “thinspiration” hashtag, while lauding physiques that are obese by medical standards, doesn’t seem entirely logical.

Thin privilege is dismissing and demonising Fat Activism as “illogical, “unhealthy body image” and “attacking” and “shaming” of thin bodies in a single throw-away paragraph in an article promoting a healthist agenda.

Fat Shamed By Employer

I’ve been fat ever since I can remember. I was a larger girl when I was young and I was bullied nonstop. It didn’t get better as I got older, it only gets worse.

I applied for a job at a large fortune 500 tech company and was asked to come in and interview. I have over 5 years of experience in the field and am a near expert at what I do.

The other interviewees for the position were all sat outside the system architechts office. 4 of the other 6 applications were also people of size. 5 female and two male. The men were both skinny. We all went in and interviewed one at a time.

The interviewer made passive agressive remarks about my weight and how the company will need to accomodate for me. I acted professinal and chose to ignore the remarks. The interview went well other than the fatphobic jokes. I was told if I met their requirements, which I aced, I would be given a call within 48 hours.

It was only 3 days later that I realized what had happened. Everyone of the interviewees met the qualifications for the position. We all went above and beyond when it came to our requirements. They interviewed us all to see which one of us best fit their “ideal” look for a systems manager. I was absolutely outraged.

They purely based their decision off of who “looked the part”. It was a fairly public position, meaning many meetings with investors and occasional public appearances at company events.

I was so angry at these fat phobic assholes for choosing a employee completely based off looks.

Thin privilege is having a SHOT of even getting a job.

Thin privilege is not being judged as a possible employee based only off of your looks.

Free/Cheap Clothing

As a thin person but fat-positivism ally I just realized another privilege of mine I haven’t found on any lists so far: Thin privilege is rarely having to buy new clothes because you fit into old ones of relatives and friends they have grown out of. Plus, easily finding clothes that fit at give-away shops, flea markets and secondhand shops. I try and compensate them in some manner or other even if they don’t want/accept money. I was also thinking of accompanying others to events with a variety of sizes but I’m reluctant to ask as I’m not sure how they’ll feel about it.