4030 posts tagged submission
TRIGGER WARNING: Lots of fatphobia. I could not finish watching that. -MG
Thin privilege is your fandom’s big new music parody not using women with your body type as the butt of their joke, and then having friends send it to you as ‘the fat friend’ they know expecting you to find it complimentary to hear lyrics like these.
Thin privilege and fat phobia are the policing of pregnant bodies and assumption that pregnancy “ruins” the body by making it fatter.
People are always willing to make fat jokes and comment on a fat person’s body. When a person of any size becomes pregnant, the size comments fly out of control. ”You’re HUGE!” ”Are you sure you aren’t having TWINS??” or the opposite, “You look like you haven’t gained much weight…” and “Are you even pregnant? Where are you hiding the baby??” etc. This monitoring of a pregnant person’s body makes them very self conscious either way (by shaming them if they look “too big” and making them worry about their child if they are “not big enough”) and is a really ugly example of the “gain weight, but not TOO MUCH weight” dichotomy.
As a feminist I believe the patriarchy wants to keep women from feeling empowered or even satisfied by the process of child-bearing. I wanted to feel wonderful during my pregnancy, because I was growing a human being in my abdomen, but instead I concentrated on my body image the whole time. Now I realize it was all part of their trap to prevent me from realizing how much power I have - by using my body size against me.
Now that I am post-partum, I get comments about “losing the baby weight” all the time, even unsolicited from strangers. Little do they know, I don’t want to lose this weight, and I had it before I ever had a baby! I’m so ANGRY!
Thin privilege is getting complimented for eating crap.
I have various illnesses and take various medications that affect my weight, and as a result of that my weight has fluctuated for most of my adult life. I’m currently at my lowest weight in over a decade (around 55kg) and the one thing I’ve noticed about being in this “normal” weight range is that people compliment me for all sorts of weird things.
I just find it so bizarre that because I’m thin now, people see me as healthy and someone to be “jealous” of, even though I do absolutely nothing that indicates I’m a healthy person. I eat averagely, I don’t exercise, and many of my friends know I’m a seriously ill person. Yet they like to gloss over these facts, and tell me that they’re “soooo jealous” of me because of my weight loss. It’s ridiculous.
Back when I was in high school, one of the guys in my class randomly asked me out. He seemed like a nice guy had been a decent friend until then, but I wasn’t interested in pursing a romantic relationship with him so I politely declined. A couple hours later at lunch another boy in our class came up to me and asked if we were dating. I said no. He replied, “Oh, haha, I bet him $20 to date you for a week.” Everyone at the lunch table started laughing. I was so mortified, I awkwardly laughed it off with them, then spent the rest of the lunch period crying in the bathroom.
I was in band with and had known both of these guys for a couple years. Both had seemed nice and, though we weren’t good friends, we were good enough to hang out together with other friends at school stuff. Of all the horrible people at my school, I never though it would be people I liked and was friends with that would do something like that.
Since then I’ve never had a boyfriend, and always believe that it’s some sort of joke when a guy shows any affection or is even nice to me. To this day I still cant believe that a guy would sincerely be interested in dating me.
It’s no secret that plus size fashion is chock full of ugly, tacky options, most of which ignore any straight-size fashion trends in favour of shapeless sacks, loud and clashing patterns, and utterly bizarre style choices. So you would think that it would be easy to go intentionally seeking out something ugly, right?
Enter the modern Christmas tradition: the ugly Christmas sweater.
My office is holding a charity contest for bizarre/ugly Christmas sweaters. Since I’m organising the office Christmas party (though not the contest), I thought it’d probably be good if I bought a sweater and participated. Like I said, finding ugly plus size clothes is easy, right? Apparently, only ugly plus size clothes that are intended for everyday wear. Everywhere I’ve looked, silly, intentionally tacky Christmas sweaters are ten a plenty in straight sizes, but the closest you can come in a size over UK 20/US 16 is a sweatshirt that I swear my grandmother owned twenty years ago.
The best part is that the charity this is raising money for? Diabetes research. You know, the condition that the media and society as a whole loves to associate entirely with fat people. Except that fat people can’t participate in the charity event.
Thin privilege is not, while in high school, being so terrified of going up a pants size that you literally keep wearing and buying pants so tight on you that you cannot breath in them. When in high school, someone told me anyone above a size 8 was huge. At the time, I was a size 12. When that got too small, I kept wearing it, even though my size 12 pants would dig into my skin and leave angry red marks and sometimes even leave cuts and skin abrasions in my hiplines, even though they barely came up enough to cover my butt, even though I could not sit down in them or eat in them. Now, I am a size 16-18 (and of course these sizes are more difficult to find, which is a whole other issues) but I have problems with breathing because I retrained myself to breathe when I was wearing too tight clothes. I hold my breath a lot and take very shallow breaths. I’m now working with a physical therapist and taking yoga in order to learn to breath properly again. I am also seeing a psychologist for anxiety which is partially about size and weight issues.
Thin privilege is not unnecessarily compromising your own health because you’ve internalized bigger = disgusting to such a high degree that you develop breathing problems and mental health problems related to something as seemingly trivial as clothing sizes.
Today I was in one of those discount stores that try to cram as much stuff as they can in the little space they have. The aisles are even narrower than in other stores (about 30 cm/12 in wide), but while I am no size 0, I still fit, but I need to pay attention not to throw things down with my jacket or my purse.
Well, today I got a sense of perspective. I was already down the main aisle when a large woman came my way from the back of the store. She was about 3 times my width and she did not fit through the aisles of the store at all, knocking down products and getting poisonous looks from the shop assistants. I turned to get out of the lady’s way as she was trying to leave the store, but behind me there was another large lady who had entered the store after me.
I genuinely did not know what to do. The lady who came in after me went back a few steps and let me and the other lady out. I thanked her, feeling terrible.
The store and whoever planned it are crap. They sell clothing basics for a vast range of sizes and body types, but the aisles are too narrow for someone larger than a EU size 44 to fit through! And it’s not like every centimeter of space is judiciously used - merchandise items are thrown onto plastic shelves left and right. I am pretty sure they could do this more cleverly, but apparently if you want to buy quality clothes at discount prices, you have to pay with your dignity.
This is Germany. Many people are fat or just big. And most stores are super crammed. Why does no one figure out that people’s bodies are not all super small and thin? Instead of policing fat people and being obnoxious, stores could have bigger aisles and allow people to have a pleasant shopping experience.
Thin privilege is being able to get to the items that interest you in stores.
Thin privilege is not having to feel like you’re too large just because store planners can’t do their job well.
Thin privilege is not worrying that someone will get you clothes for Christmas and that you’ll have to return them because they don’t fit.
(This get’s worse if when you take them back they don’t have your size and then people wonder why you aren’t wearing their thoughtful gift)
Thin privilege is assuming someone’s crippling social anxiety is simply because they’re ashamed of their weight. Not that they’ve gradually gained weight from a mental illness that keeps them from going outdoors, and living an active life.
the problem i have with the words “fat” and “obesity” is that no one, when asked “where does it start”, can seem to give me a straightforward answer, and it’s always different. no one agrees on a size, or a weight, just on the BMI, which is not an indicator for fat or health, just of mass.
i don’t know how to formulate this as “thin privilege is”.
perhaps, “thin privilege is knowing where you stand without needing to faff about or justify your existence in a fictional scale”?
or rather, “thin privilege is being able of making up your mind about something so simple as weight”?
or, “passing off your own personal preference as unbiased truth in a subject you have no basic knowledge, much less expertise about”?
or just, thin privilege is knowing that people will read this and tuck it into the corner of their mind as something to think about, instead of highlighting bits and pieces that offend them on a personal level, taking it as a personal attack and trivializing it so thoroughly that i’ll come out with the voice of a crying child than an adult with anything valid to say.
Why do you get angry at opposing viewpoints and arguments? I always see responses to people with differing opinions with rude, snide comments thrown in to really show your dislike. Are you capable of having a viable input to arguments you may not agree with? It just seems like I see a lot of, “Stop liking what I don’t like” or “Stop having opposing viewpoints.”
You would think on a page dedicated to not being biased towards a certain group of people would practice what they preach.
You’re new to the concept of privilege it seems. Either that or this is your sooper slick way of implying that thin privilege doesn’t exist (because we’ve never heard *that* one before!).
This blog is dedicated to opening the eyes of society to the oppression fat people experience. So, who, exactly are we hypocritically oppressing? Just “people with opposing viewpoints”? Is that a large chunk of humans who have been discriminated against and erased worldwide for decades that we’re just now hearing about?
And lastly, you could have found your answer to this in our FAQ, but for your sake and the sake of a healthy reminder:
"Tone policing disadvantaged people is oppressive in and of itself. It places a burden on the disadvantaged that is not put on oppressors: that of being “polite” by the standards of the oppressors. And, frankly, there is no way to be polite enough by those standards, because just telling them that the oppression exists is not “polite”. For example, I’m following a conversation going on on my dash, in which a WOC said, simply, that Bioshock: Infinite had too much racist imagery for her, she found it triggering, and she was not going to be able to play it. She didn’t cuss. She didn’t call anyone names. She didn’t say anyone else shouldn’t play it. She said she wasn’t going to. And she has been getting a flood of hate for it for a good 24 hours now. People are insulted that she would say B:I is racist at all. It was rude of her to call any attention to the racist imagery. And they are shitting all over her for it, often in worse terms than any of the mods here use. Because oppressors think that pointing out oppression is rude. Period. …
"Because we are not here to coddle our oppressors, and we are not here to coddle anyone who sounds like our oppressors, either, because we simply can’t tell the difference until you stop sounding like our oppressors. If you act like a troll, if you act like an oppressor, we will treat you with the contempt that deserves." -Madgastonomer
Thin privilege is not having to worry about eating a snack in front of a group of “friends” knowing you won’t be judged for it. I went out with my friends to the Art Gallery, and I was really hungry as I didn’t have time to eat breakfast. I had brought a blueberry muffin with me and started to eat it, when my one “friend” piped in “It’s almost lunch time do you really need to be eating right now ?” I didn’t even know what to say I was so shocked. I love art so much but now I can’t even enjoy that anymore without fear of fat shaming.
I am a small fat. In fact, most of you here would probably not consider me fat at all, as I still enjoy a lot of thin privilege. Though I have no trouble fitting into an airplane seat, here in France it’s difficult for a guy my size to find well-fitting clothes, my friends make fun of me, and every girlfriend I’ve had (except my current) has pestered me to lose weight. No matter how hard I tried, it didn’t work out, and to be honest I wasn’t very broken up about. I’m fine with my body, but I do still get very paranoid my thin, gorgeous girlfriend secretly finds me unattractive.
I was bed-ridden for about the last week and a half (still not fully recovered) with an awful case of the flu. I lost a few kilograms during this time and I thought the difference was noticeable. Probably mostly water weight, but still. When my girlfriend came over to see me or the first time in a few days, I had already told her I thought I looked thinner and she sounded skeptical. However, when she how much weight the illness had made me lose, her face instantly fell to frown of concern and distress and she said, “You need to eat more! I know it’s difficult, but you’re wasting away to nothing….It’s not healthy!!” I was so relieved and felt much more secure in her feelings about my appearance.
Thin privilege is not worrying that your significant other will praise your unhealthy, disease-related weight loss, rather than express concern.
Academic economist here, checking in to note that you don’t have your post on behavioral economics quite right (in part because it seems the wikipedia article is not well-written).
"Time-inconsistency" isn’t about whether you "care" about your future self or not. It’s about the ability to make a plan for the future right now, and continue on with that same plan you made today in future periods.
People who decide today not to try to lose weight tomorrow because of, for example, the reasons presented on this blog, are *not* time-inconsistent. They have rational and time-consistent preferences about (not) losing weight, and they make a plan right now not to do so, and they stick to it tomorrow.
People who make a plan to lose weight starting tomorrow (through whatever means), but then fail to follow through with their plan, are time-inconsistent.
Economists (or, at least, economists who are properly using their training) place no *judgment* on the ways that people choose between various options that they face about health or whatever else. We usually assume you are “maximizing your utility” when making your choices. Choose not to exercise because you don’t like it or because it makes you ill? An economist has no issue with this per se.
Observations about time-inconsistency are observations that people seem to not have the same preferences over actions today and actions tomorrow. Resolving to diet tomorrow (while not doing so today) is what is at issue, and what is of academic interest to economists. Not because they love diets, but because it is interesting that peoples’ preferences over a decision don’t seem stable over time.
Mod note: Thank you for your response! I really appreciate it. I realized that the Wiki article was poorly written. In my critique, however, I included a public-goods article supporting government intervention into “obesity” precisely because of apparent time-inconsistent preference of fat people — I’m assuming that they agree with the popular misinformation about weight loss dieting (i.e., they exhibit enough bias not to research more deeply into the matter) that the reason diets don’t work and fat people remain fat is because though they decide to diet today, tomorrow they might choose not to and hence, the diet “fails.” A quote from the article under the heading “Rationale: time-inconsistent preferences”:
However, it has been argued that some foods may be addictive or that some individuals have problems of self-control or a strong desire for instant gratification that might mean they make decisions which are rational at the time of consumption, but which they later regret or which are not consistent with their long-term preferences.
I’m very interested in behavioral economics, so I want to make sure I’m getting this right. I appreciate your response.
Thin privilege is being able to listen to a podcast of some comedians you like without being told you as a person are undesirable and wrong. Starting at 7:26 and going on for 15 minutes of this ‘If I Were You’ podcast with Jake Hurwitz, Amir Blumenfeld, and Patrick Cassels was physically hard to stomach. (MAJOR trigger warning for fat shaming and insanely degrading views on big women. Also misogyny, misogyny everywhere. If you’re easily triggered don’t even click)
It starts with a question from a shitstain of a human who wants to manipulate his already thin girlfriend into losing weight because he doesn’t know ‘why can’t everyone eat right and exercise’. I was holding out hope because I like the three of these guys very much and was glad when Jake told the guy to smash his own face on a table, but it quickly turned into jokes about fat women while being grossly misogynistic. Jokes about how rich overweight people in the past were revered for being ‘good at eating chicken’. How the guy should incept his girlfriend, but it would take 13 layers because she’s so fat and the first 8 would be about eating chicken. How Patrick has ‘only dated fat chicks’ because you know a man who dates a big woman has failed somehow. Not to mention using ‘eat better because I want you to be healthy’ bullshit. ‘Obese unhealthy’. “It doesn’t matter if they’re in a normal weight range.”(as in you don’t need to lose weight as long as you’re thin) “If she’s not morbidly unhealthy obese he has no right to tell her to lose weight.” Because otherwise, have at that fat bitch, right? And that’s not even the bulk of it.
I couldn’t get through it without crying
This is the fucking state of our culture. They think they’re not in the wrong because they’re not wording it the same as a blatant asshole, when they’re believing and adhering to and supporting the same garbage. Saying basically, if your girlfriend is fat you can go to whatever lengths to make her lose weight so she’s worthy of your bare minimum of human decency and acceptance, but why would you be in a relationship with a fat woman anyways you fucking loser? Respect your girlfriend EXCEPT IF SHE’S FAT isn’t a thing decent fucking people say.