2212 posts tagged fat discrimination
Thin privilege is not being blamed as the cause of a sinkhole on national television. (ps. You might want to avoid watching the fourth episode of the new Top Gear UK series.)
I’m so upset right now.
I went on my sisters facebook wall and someone had posted a link to a certain site (and a comment ‘ha this u x ?’), which has a certain fat hating section and a story on that fat hating section and realising your sister has clearly wrote this about you and twisted it to make it seem like ”ha ha fatties always eating”.
I’m so upset right now, people calling me names, saying I’m ill and that I should be killed or put down. Basically making me seem inhumane and worthless simply because I’m not a thin woman.
I helped raise her and looked after her while our parents were out, now I find out that she hates me simply because I am fat. I love her with all my heart, yes there has been cold harsh words between us but I could never hate her for being thin I can’t understand why she feels this way. I’m just so confused right now.
She’s a few years younger than me so I get that social pressure is still a big thing to her, but I’m so hurt I can’t stop crying. I’d do anything for her, I’ve babysat her son while she went out drinking late at night, I’ve travelled to far places to help her and I’ve always just been around doing a sister job but apparently she can’t love me simply for the fact I don’t fit her ideal body image.
Thin privilege is people who are supposed to love you, love you and not care about your weight.
This is not really about me, but about a friend, and it affected me too! Tw: bullying, fat-shaming
I was chatting with two boys my age that I don’t know that well, but they are in my year (senior) at high school. The conversation turned to the upcoming ‘winter formal’ dance, and then the summer ball. We were discussing outfits. I mentioned the fact that some girls were wanting to lose weight before buying dresses. One of them then said "well, that’s not gonna happen for some of them though, let’s face it. Take ‘A’ for example, imagine her in a dress! Beached whale!" *guffaws with laughter*. other boy joins in with: “yeah, some girls just shouldn’t wear dresses”. Then says to me, seeing my shocked expression "you don’t hang around with her, do you?" I replied "no", to which he says "ah well that’s okay then, you agree don’t you?". I said "no. she can wear a dress if she wants to, EVERYONE will look stunning at the ball."
'A' happens to be a girl I used to be good friends with. She is beautiful. She hates her weight, and has been on many horribly restrictive diets. She looks her best at her natural weight, which may wrongly be considered 'fat' by some people, and when she is NOT engaged in restricting behaviours. Me, I probably do have thin privilege. I used to have anorexia and am finally recovered to a healthy weight. It has made me very aware of all 'weight issues', and I am shocked at the body policing that goes on, even in a small town high school. People, just like those boys, DO NOT understand how weight is not equal to beauty or love or attractiveness.
Thin privilege is being able to wear a stunning gown to a ball, and not being hated on for the body within it.
le privilège maigre, c’est commencer une amitié avec le nom propre.
j’étais étudiante erasmus comme les autres. cependant, au lieu de s’introduire, on m’a bombardée avec des “conseils” pour ma santé, avant tout pour perdre mon poid. c’est humiliant, les choses que j’ai souffert, seulement pour ne pas être seule et perdue dans un pays étranger.
(d’ailleurs, ces conseils, c’était comment se purger, par voie de la diarrhé, en trois jours)
this privilege is starting a new friendship with your name.
we are a group of erasmus students. but instead of introducing themselves, my collegues gave me “well meant tips on health”, mostly weight loss. it’s humiliating, the things i accepted, just so i would not be alone and lost in a foreign country.
(the advice was how to purge yourself in three days with diarrhea)
Listening to the radio this morning, there was a talk section discussing a man who’s a vegetarian and hates vegetables. The solution: he will only eat cheese pizza. He eats 1 large cheese pizza per day, nothing else. What really bothered me about it though, was the host of the talk section saying “And he’s not obese, he’s perfectly healthy! He’s a skinny guy”. How can you honestly say that a person who only eats cheese pizza for every meal is “healthy” just because they’re thin?
Thin privilege is being deemed “healthy” no matter what you eat.
Thin privilege is deeming fat people “unhealthy” no matter what they eat.
Thin privilege is doing a homework assignment researching informal and formal register synonyms for a list of words and not finding that a synonym for your body type is “gross”.
Thin privilege is having your body type exempt from the “funny” section of birthday cards because your body is considered socially desirable.
When I went to Target yesterday to buy my boyfriend a birthday card, I saw a good amount of cards with pictures of fat people in the “funny” section. One card was a picture of a fat woman wearing a bikini — the card read, “Finally, I found a stripper for you that I can afford! Happy Birthday!”
Because obviously (sarcasm):
1) If a fat person is wearing a bikini, they must be a stripper!
2) A fat person’s body is intrinsically valued less in society, so having a fat stripper would cost less.
Another card was a photo of a fat woman wearing a short dress walking through a store — the focal point of the photograph was the cellulite on her thighs. The card read, “At least your biggest problem is getting old!” or something stupid like that.
It just made me angry and sad to see, especially after some of the comments made in my economics class earlier in the day. People should not feel like their bodies are under attack when buying cards for friends or family, or at events where people are receiving those cards.
I don’t know if you guys have posted anything like this before, and if you don’t want to, that’s okay. It’s not exactly thin privilege (except, well, it’s such an infinitesimal part of music…so like anything in media really, thin privilege is having the majority of media celebrate your body type)….
Sir Mix-a-lot is pretty fat phobic… The following is a quote from the article.
I’m writing a story about young guys who like fat women, who prefer fat women, and your song keeps coming up.
That’s funny because that’s not what the song is talking about. It cracks me up. I’ve seen girls that look like me and been like, “Ohhhhh, I’m Baby’s got Back!” And I’m like, “No, no, no, no.” It wasn’t “Baby Got Back and Center, and Middle, and Front.” You know?
And from that same interview (emphasis mine):
“It’s not that you don’t love a girl that’s heavy-set, that’s not what I’m saying. I just think that some people confuse the ideal. I get into that a lot, when [people are] like, “Well, isn’t that what you like?” And I’m like, “Dude, I can fall in love with any woman. But if we’re being strictly shallow here, I’d have to say it’s the coke bottle.”
Reblogging for important followup comments.
[TW: possible eating disorder, medication-induced anorexia, prescriptions, medical crisis, dehydration, starvation, potential for violence against authority figures, I may have missed a few because I’m too fucked in the head to recognize even my own triggers]
Thin privilege means calling an ambulance, or at least seeking some form of medical attention, when your blood pressure suddenly drops to the blackout point because you’ve simply failed to eat or drink even as much as a housecat for… I dunno, three weeks? Probably longer?
I don’t normally submit anonymously. I prefer to face any trolls that come my way head-on, and take them down with logic and solid fact. Unfortunately, both options have completely failed me in this situation, and I just don’t have the spoons to deal with any shit-flinging. People who know me, one in particular, will know who I am, and that’s fine. I may have a few things to answer for, but I know good and well I keep my problems to myself until they reach critical, and that needs to stop.
Yesterday night, I experienced a bout of postprandial hypotension. It just means a drop in blood pressure immediately after eating as blood is rerouted from the brain to the digestive tract. Now, in my case, it was due to prolonged accidental starvation and dehydration due to a truly mind-boggling array of anorectic prescriptions. (In other words, I daily take more pills than Studio 54 saw in all of 1976-79, and I do it legitimately.) This cocktail barely keeps me balanced on the knife’s edge of functionality, and I have terrible balance. I’ve never eaten much, so nobody really pays attention if I go a few days without more than a couple of pears or some bread and butter, or just a can or two of Red Bull. I only have alcohol once or twice a month (though my tolerance is spectacular), never touched anything illicit, don’t smoke, don’t abuse my prescriptions. I just… slowly succumb to side effects.
Anyway, I thought a shower might help my hypotension. I’ve always had low BP—my doctor says I have the BP of a child—so I figured it would get better.
To my credit, I didn’t completely black out. There wasn’t enough oxygen in the world, though, and in a rush, I ended up on my hands and knees, gasping for breath with the top half of my face submerged near the drain.
It took about half an hour to get out, get to my room, tell my parents the absolute bare minimum of information. (They’ve gotten onto me lately for keeping too much to myself. What am I supposed to do? You have a past like mine, you don’t advertise when you’re vulnerable. I’m the Queen of Looking Fine While Dying Inside.) I sat up for a while by force of will, finally had to go to bed whilst gasping like a landed fish, and within minutes either fell asleep or lost consciousness.
Rationally, I should have requested an ambulance or a trip to the ER after my spill in the shower. This was clearly a medical crisis (and I am going to be in SO much trouble with my girlfriend for not telling her all of this detail sooner). I know what caused it, it’s a situation that needed immediate treatment, and I need to be evaluated for a possible ED to make sure one hasn’t developed alongside the drug-induced anorexia.
But, no. Why? Possibly the most common cause of postprandial hypotension in someone my age is Type II diabetes. Never mind that I sit dead in the middle of the normal range, AND have multiple severe chronic health conditions that would be more likely to cause it in my case. No, I’d have to get tested again and again for something I don’t have. In fact, if anything, my glucose is low right now.
Normally, it would be a minor consideration. I’m pretty level-headed and rational, and once even slurred my way through an informed, mutually agreeable discussion with an ER doc on whether I’d had a stroke. (Nope, but I can never eat a Reese’s cup again.) Lately, though—and I’d bet it’s due to not eating, in fact being unable to force myself to eat without overwhelming nausea—I’ve had a temper. A bad temper. The kind of temper that makes me less likely to calmly explain just why I’d like to be put on an IV of fluids before my glucose is tested, and more likely to do a couple million dollars in damage.
Thin privilege is knowing you can visit the emergency room for a possibly life-threatening condition—that has yet to fully abate more than 24 hours later, did I mention that?—without fear of losing what little hold you have on your abraded temper.
Thin privilege is treatment before terror.
Thin privilege is not being so angry, so absolutely at the end of your rope, that it would be better to die with your good reputation intact than live with what you might have done.
TW: poverty, gyms, health-policing, diets, fitness, body-shaming.
I know this intasects with class privilege too, but its something that’s been bothering me and actually getting in the way of my ability to love myself. All will be explained.
My sister and I have inherited different sets of genetics. I, like my brother and father, am fat, but she, like my mother, is naturally very thin. Neither of us are very muscular naturally, but we work hard to keep fit despite this. We work out together a couple of times a week and encourage each other on our fitness goals (lifting X amount of weights, holding a yoga pose for X minutes). We’re both doing well and keeping fit and healthy (she does better in weights and I do better in yoga).
But she somehow still believe that my weight is because of my diet. Of course, she knows better then to accuse me of not exercising, but she will insist I’m not exercising “right” or eating “right” and that’s why I am fat and she is not. I try and tell her to look at how my face resembles dad’s and our brother’s, not mom’s, which shows where I inherited it, but she then starts criticising them both for their weight and saying how they shouldn’t eat what they do (they sometimes eat snacks) or they should exercise more (they ARE inactive, but, while I like to exercise, I refuse to judge others based on their exercise habits: it’s their bodies to do what they want with). Of course, I find all this talk very offensive and have to end it there, before I have a break down (I know I’m more vulnerable to her diet-talk when I am depressed).
My sister and I both eat intuitively and work hard to eat healthy foods as much as possible. She eats “Paleo”, but I eat a flexitarian diet. But we both eat as much as we want or need, to fuel our bodies. We both have the odd treat. She criticizes me for not following her diet, even though she KNOWS that when I tried it I felt tired and sluggish and sore for days. I need to eat low-meat and high-carb. In her head, “if only” I would eat “right”, I’d be thin like her. She tries to compare her withdrawel from caffeine to the immense suffering I endured for a week when I tried eating her diet. The kicker: I also started losing weight FAR too fast on her diet. As in, a friend of mine whos studying medcine told me to stop whatever I was doing, it was that fast. But my sister saw it as GOOD and only focuses on that when she discusses how I did on her diet. “But you were losing weight!!!” I have to explain to her that I love my body and want it to be healthy, not unnaturally thin. She then usually starts telling me how I AM naturally thin (because a non-doctor like her who’s on a crazy diet is SURE to know, right?), just that I eat too many calories. So, if I haven’t left the room by now, I defend myself and explain to her how, if you REALLY believe in physics, then you need to understand that a bigger body needs more calories than a smaller body to fuel and maintain itself. So OF COURSE I eat a few more than her. We have to have this conversation every day. Being the alpha I am, I won’t back down, but she’s too stubborn to accept that I know more about my body than she does.
Now here comes the class issue.She gets paid a bit more at her job than I do at mine. I get minimum wage as a hairdresser’s assistant, she gets a fixed wage as a waitress, but gets tips, which mean she usually comes home with more cash than I do. This means I need to buy more food (vegetarian food is low in calories, so you need more and I need more to keep my body fuelled) on a lower income and she needs to buy less food on a high income. Of course, this means she can afford the “nice” foods and the “super” foods and the “healthy” foods, because she only buys a bit of it and has more money to spend on greens and akay berries or whatever after she’s bought her eggs and potatoes. Yet she still has the cheek to criticize my food choices, when, if I bought the “healthy” foods she gets, I wouldn’t be able to afford the calories I need to survive.
But, of course, because she’s thin everyone nods in agreement when she criticizes my weight, my body, my workouts or my diet. But when I stand up for myself I get stared at for daring to tell a thin person that they don’t understand health.
Thin Privilege is being able to health-police people and have it seen as your right to do so.
Thin Privilege is people assuming you understand health, nutrition and bodies.
Thin Privilege is being blind to how even a small difference in income could affect your food options.
Thin Privilege is thinking said food options are choices and that these “choices” are what determines your body shape, even when genetics clearlys shows otherwise.
Thin Privilege is being able to randomly decide what’s “healthy” for someone else without worrying that someone will call you out on your bullshit.
Disclaimer: While I am having a go at her here, I DO love her and I enjoy working out with her. She’s fine in the gym. It’s in the kitchen where her entitlement annoys me. This is why I still talk to her. I also hope that someday she’ll be able to see how healthy we BOTH are, rather than always think of herself as healthier because she’s thinner.
TW: Bullying, slurs, self-hate.
To this day I can’t tell my mother or my friends that I hated my “nickname” “tubby” or “tubs”, because it made me feel self-conscious about my size and as though I could never be part of their group. I can’t tell them because they’ll tell me to “man up” that it’s “not bullying if we didn’t mean to bully you” and that “if you love your body, you shouldn’t be offended by your nickname”. They still call me it and, every time they do, I feel the self-loathing I used to experience as a teenager come back to me.
Thin privilege is not being ashamed to admit that you were bullied. Thin privilege is not being ashamed to admit that you were hurt. Thin privilege is being able to talk about the way your friends discriminated against and abused you without being mocked because “it isn’t bullying if it’s about weight.”
I don’t know if you guys have posted anything like this before, and if you don’t want to, that’s okay. It’s not exactly thin privilege (except, well, it’s such an infinitesimal part of music…so like anything in media really, thin privilege is having the majority of media celebrate your body type). But I know these help me when the discrimination/hatred gets too loud, and I thought it might help others. :)
I’ve been compiling a personal list of music/music videos that are…inspirational and recognize/celebrate body diversity. Here we go. :)
Brave by Sara Bareilles https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QUQsqBqxoR4
Big Girls (You Are Beautiful) by Mika https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yDSK91mUNLU
Up In The Air by Thirty Seconds to Mars (seizure warning on the video) (trigger warning for one line in the chorus/lyrics) (Mostly thin people, but there’s a particular woman of size that first appears around 3:30 and she is glorious.) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y9uSyICrtow
Fat Bottomed Girls by Queen https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VMnjF1O4eH0
(This song has been covered by many, but one of the ones I especially love is an acapella version by The CottonTown Chorus: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fDhP4jtrF58)
Baby Got Back by Sir-Mix-A-Lot: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FlItMpGYQTo
(Also covered as a romance song by Jonathan Coulton: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ltjbnyvq_SI)
I’m sure there are others, but probably not many. Anyone know of any others? I’m always looking to add to my list. :)
I just wanted to note that, as many people have already said, Baby Got Back is not something I would consider fat positive or body positive at all. He’s not only relying on normative beauty ideals but reinforcing anti-blackness that black women need to navigate through daily in relation to white standards of beauty. “That when a girl walks in with an itty bitty waist. And a round thing in your face” and “LA face with Oakland booty.” The last lyric clearly outlines how a woman can have a large butt as long as their face conforms to white beauty standards.
The 30 Second to Mars video does feature a beautiful fat woman but I’m really uncomfortable with the use of her as a circus sideshow act as this video is pretty much a hipster circus theme.
Thin privilege is never having to worry about bringing your own towel because there will always be one that covers your body appropriately.
The standard bath towel is a joke for my fat body, I need two to wrap around me all the way and how awkward is that to hold up and walk back from the bathroom in? I remember feeling nervous that a towel wouldn’t fit me since I started going to sleepovers and camp as a kid.
It’s something that my non-fat friends don’t think about or understand, and I’m too embarrassed to explain to them why I always pack my own towel when we’re going to the beach, a friend’s pool, or on vacation where we’ll be staying in a hotel or someone’s house. They will reassure me that there will be towels there, but I always end up making some stupid excuse like “I am a germaphobe and hotel towels gross me out” (I don’t care at all!) or that I’m bringing one “just in case we run out of towels/mine gets sandy/an alien beams it up in a spaceship.”
I also always feel rude when I stay with my Aunt and she leaves out a towel and a washcloth for me, and I don’t want to just leave the towel folded up so it looks like I didn’t shower (because fat people stink! -_____-) or like I didn’t appreciate that she did that. It gives me anxiety that I know is necessary but feel nevertheless.
It would be nice if oversize towels were more common so I would feel more comfortable that the appropriate size will be available for my body.
Thin privilege is never being shamed in public just because you are fat.
Today, I went to K-mart to buy a DVD for my mother’s birthday. While I was browsing the shelves, a man came up behind me and physically pushed past me, muttering something about “fat assholes always blocking the aisle”. A couple standing nearby snickered and nodded at him.
Ugh. I just don’t understand why it’s acceptable for society to treat fat people this way. Just because I’m fat, it doesn’t mean you can be rude to me. They aren’t even long aisles anyway, so if I really was in his way he could have just gone down the next aisle instead. I wish I had said something witty or clever at the time, but all could say was a “fuck you” after he had already walked away.
Thin privilege is being able to look at a radio facebook page without seeing a headless picture of a body that looks like yours from the back; thin privilege is also feeling just fine writing or calling in a hateful comment about fat people when the show is about suing food companies.