This is Thin Privilege

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For fuck’s sake, or, The Knee Pain Thing

So whatever, I’m too busy for this shit, but I just wanted to note that 

1) yes, having better muscular support can help alleviate knee pain and can even help prevent SOME joint problems caused by gravity + time, but that goes for everyone, not just fat people.

2) yes, fat people with poor muscular development, all else equal, have more downward pressure on their joints than thinner people with poor muscular development. However, this still does not make long-term weight loss possible for the vast majority of fat people, hence does not make a prescription of such REASONABLE for the vast majority of fat peopleOn its face, increasing muscle mass to support your joints, if you are ABLE to do so, is a more accessible option to most fat people.

3) TROLLS, YOU GENERALLY SUCK AT READING COMPREHENSION. It’s not just a criticism. It’s a fact. And it’s likely on purpose. You read what you want to. You are blind to subtlety when it doesn’t suit your cause, because the game of trolling doesn’t admit points for actual fallacies promoted by websites like TITP, only perceived fallacies within the trolling community itself. You don’t get “points” from us, just from each other. 

4) Fellow SJWs and allies, beware of getting into a hairsplitting war. It’s usually a diversionary tactic from the discussion at hand and has little to do with actual clarification of reasonable criticism. People who follow the trolls and who aren’t really trolls yourself, think hard about why trolls troll and why blogs like TITP do what we do. Then ask yourself, What’s the difference? What goal does each cause serve? I can tell you the trolls are doing it mainly for entertainment. They like to try to break things. That’s how they get their kick. Do you think that’s what TITP is trying to do? If not, why the fuck are you listening to the trolls instead of trying to understand what we’re saying? Understanding something that seems foreign to you is challenging, admittedly. But it will make you a more knowledgable person after the fact. Bowing to conformist pseudo-scientific hate-messages dressed in faux concern will not. 

-ArteToLife

littlenerdytsuki:

I like how some people try to hide their fat phobia by telling fat people that it’s unhealthy and we should lose weight because we could die and they are just worried about us.

That’s almost like one of them Christian folk lecturing a homosexual for being gay, telling them that if they don’t get straight, they’re gonna go to hell…OH BUT THEY ARE JUST WORRIED ABOUT OUR SOULS!

Just stop. For one, you don’t even know us. For two, it’s our body, not yours. If we wanna work out and lose weight then we will. If we would rather sit on the couch at night and eat a tub of ice cream, we will do that too. It’s none of your business what we do with our bodies or how we look.

PLEASE STOP. Some of us ARE working to lose weight because WE want to. Others like being the way they are. Stop fat shaming. Stop the fat hating. Leave us alone.

Really?!

TW: eating disorders, fat shaming kids

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/01/30/petition-make-plus-size-princesses-in-disney-movies_n_4695664.html

Avoid the comments there’s a lot of fat shaming there.

Adults are so convinced fat shaming benefits kids and makes them healthy now, I’ve had to show them an image of a child with Anorexia for them to realize the damage they’re causing. How bad does this have to get before people realize fat shaming children destroys childhoods, and can end lives? I just don’t understand adults demanding their right to hurt children, this is what the obesity hysteria has wrought. How many children must suffer until things change?

I also want to state despite Huffpo’s attempts to appear supporting body positivity, their allowing of hate towards fat people in the comments of their articles show they care only about being popular, no matter how unethical they have to be.

(Sorry this is so long but I think it’s important)
I never noticed the lack of representation for bigger girls in music until now. And it’s annoying. I have never seen a chubby girl in a music video. Not even in the background.

Not only is it annoying, but it’s unrealistic. The average music video usually involves a party of some sort. At no party in real life would everyone have the same body type. Im probably not the first person to say this and maybe it’s petty/stupid but I feel I have to say it.

Why is it that the only desirable girl in a music video has to be stick thin? Isn’t it possible that a guy could have a crush on/be chasing after a girl who’s not exactly societies version of “hot.” I wouldn’t say I’m huge but I’m definitely on the chubbier side.

It’s almost like no one would even consider that a guy would be singing about a girl whose bigger. The point is that when the people who make these music videos do this, it’s like they’re saying you can’t be desirable and also chubby/fat/etc.

I’m in no way trying to insult skinny people. Skinny is beautiful and just because a guy finds skinny girls attractive doesn’t mean they’re a dick. I’m not saying that. I’m just saying that fat can be just as beautiful and it’s also possible for a technically hot guy to find a bigger girl attractive and I just wish pop culture would address/represent that a little bit more.

Thin Privilege is not being labeled as an unfit mother

Thin privilege is not being labeled a bad mother because you are fat.
I’m fat so that automatically means my children are at risk for obesity.
I know what it’s like to grow up fat. I know what it’s like to be teased constantly and to never be able to shop at regular stores. I know what it’s like to not be wanted because I’m fat. I know what it feels like to be labeled lazy, greedy and ugly because I am fat. Do I want that for my children? Absolutely not.

Thin privilege is not having someone hope that my children get taken away because I look like an unfit mother, because I am fat.

Thin privilege is not having your family assume your bad eating habits will rub off on your children, when you are trying to eat better because of them.

We all know that being overweight can and usually just isn’t healthy.
That isn’t the point we are trying to make.
The fact is, fat, skinny, black, white, yellow, brown, gay, lesbian, trans or otherwise, we are all human beings capable of being loved and giving love. Even the biggest douchebag you can think of is deserving of love. If someone so hated can be loved by someone else, why can’t fat people be loved?

If I want to be fat and I am happy and I have people that love me, then what the hell is it to you? 

I’m submitting this here because I’ve seen this both on personal blogs on my dash and through you guys today and you have a wider readership than I do.

Fun Fact of the Day: Unless you are either stalking them, or they are reporting back to you every second of the day, you have no idea what any person other than yourself is doing with their time or how they get through the day.  Therefore, you have no business making assumptions about how they eat, how they exercise, or why they don’t exercise.

Bonus Fun Fact: Unless you have an actual PhD to your name, you have no business complaining about non-doctors giving out solicited medical advice while, in the same breath, giving out unsolicited medical advice.

The thing about bodily autonomy is that no one gets a say in what any one else can or cannot, is or isn’t doing with their own body.

The thing about personal responsibility is that it’s personal and that sole persongets to decide what they want and can be responsible for in their own life and with their own body.

And unless you’re going to start complaining about your tax money going towards the fire department when you’ve never needed their services and don’t participate in behaviors that would make you more likely to need their services, then let’s just skip over the “BUT MY TAX DOLLARS” argument.

Love you folks. For everything you do.

These tone policing arguments are those I received from my abusive family as well. If I couldn’t articulate what I was saying about how they hurt me *just right* they would turn it around to be all on me. But there was never a just right. I learned that it was far safer and easier to take whatever they had to say and not stand up for myself to even explain how I was feeling about it. It cowed me into submission and allowed the abuse to continue and worsen.

I am angry though, because the position that emotionally charged language weakens your argument is exactly what I was taught in university as well. Even high school. We were taught that emotionally charged language erodes the speaker’s validity and ultimately point. 

I never realized how much of a systemic tool that was to help discredit oppressed groups at the time. It hadn’t even occurred to me and since using emotionally neutral language lessened the abuse I’d suffered than if I tried to contest it, I bought into it.

While I haven’t in a long while now, your blog helped reinforce how bullshit that whole concept is. And how absolutely oppressive the perpetuation of it is. Sometimes I feel like I’m wrong. Perhaps my bio-fam is right, after all their mentality was pretty much brought up in university courses. But that’s not the case and you help me remember that. 

Thank you all so much.

You do a lot of good in my life. Much love!,

Pom

Thin privilege is not having men start conversations with you for the sole purpose of attempting to use you for their own sexual gratification (regardless of whether or not you want it), and then calling you fat when you refuse to participate.

[12:47 AM] chatwithu4evr: If you had a son and caught him looking at nude pics - take web away? ignore?
[12:47 AM] h———-: you’ve asked me this question literally dozens of times over the course of the previous six months.
[12:47 AM] h———-: i’m not sure what part of “I’M NOT INTERESTED IN HAVING THIS CONVERSATION WITH YOU”
[12:47 AM] h———-: isn’t getting through to you.
[12:49 AM] chatwithu4evr: its ok u r kinda fat anyway
[12:49 AM] chatwithu4evr: haha fat cunt
[12:50 AM] chatwithu4evr has left the chat.

Fat Shamed By Employer

I’ve been fat ever since I can remember. I was a larger girl when I was young and I was bullied nonstop. It didn’t get better as I got older, it only gets worse.

I applied for a job at a large fortune 500 tech company and was asked to come in and interview. I have over 5 years of experience in the field and am a near expert at what I do.

The other interviewees for the position were all sat outside the system architechts office. 4 of the other 6 applications were also people of size. 5 female and two male. The men were both skinny. We all went in and interviewed one at a time.

The interviewer made passive agressive remarks about my weight and how the company will need to accomodate for me. I acted professinal and chose to ignore the remarks. The interview went well other than the fatphobic jokes. I was told if I met their requirements, which I aced, I would be given a call within 48 hours.

It was only 3 days later that I realized what had happened. Everyone of the interviewees met the qualifications for the position. We all went above and beyond when it came to our requirements. They interviewed us all to see which one of us best fit their “ideal” look for a systems manager. I was absolutely outraged.

They purely based their decision off of who “looked the part”. It was a fairly public position, meaning many meetings with investors and occasional public appearances at company events.

I was so angry at these fat phobic assholes for choosing a employee completely based off looks.

Thin privilege is having a SHOT of even getting a job.

Thin privilege is not being judged as a possible employee based only off of your looks.

Thin privilege is being able to speak your mind without worrying that people will ridicule you for your weight because they don’t agree with you.

Earlier today, a girl that I am friends with on Facebook posted a picture set of screen grabs from the show “my 600 lb life”. (If you haven’t seen or heard of it, it’s a show that follows around  super obese people who have decided to undergo weight loss surgery. They’re followed for a year, pre and post-op) The screen grabs were from a particularly controversial episode in which a woman was bedridden and ended up making lots of excuses about why she was still eating like crap after surgery, and not walking, and not losing weight. 

Anyways, this girl on Facebook posted the link to the screen grabs and said “This is disgusting. Thanks to the ‘health at every size’ movement, these people think they’re healthy, too.” I immediately was angered by her comments and by the comments of the people who responded, chiming in with colorful language and derogatory comments. I started to formulate a response, saying that this woman CLEARLY doesn’t believe that she’s healthy, or else she wouldn’t have sought out this surgery in the first place, and then to respond to the comments of how thin privilege doesn’t exist, as I know firsthand that it most CERTAINLY does. 

I am not a thin person, if this hasn’t been made clear yet. I’m a size 26/28 in most clothes and i’ve been fat most of my life. I live the reality of watching thin privilege happen every day when people make comments about what I’m wearing or eating, when my doctors refuse to treat me and just tell me to lose weight. I know this exists because I live it. 

However, my profile picture is a photo of me and my beautiful best friend at her baby shower, and it’s a full body picture of the two of us, where you can clearly see what my body looks like. So instead of stating my opinions, I just decided not to say anything, knowing that no matter what I said, the response back would always be something to the tune of “just another disgruntled fatty. Lose some weight, fat ass!” I know that may sound silly, but it’s what happened. I’m just so used to shame, and it hurts.

Thin privilege is not being afraid that your Facebook profile picture will undermine your values and opinions. 

Thin Privilege is not feeling obligated to risk your mental health to please your parents

   [TW: abuse, eating disorders, weight loss, body policing]

Hi, I recently found this blog, and I wanted to share something that happened to me.

   I’ll start off by saying that I’ve always been big. I’ve always been tall for my age and I am fairly stocky and muscular despite my height; I’m a big girl in pretty much every sense of the phrase. When I was about 11 years old, my parents separated. The divorce that followed was tumultuous, messy, and something no 11 year old should have to go through. This caused me a lot of grief and stress, so I took comfort in food. Middle school was when I started gaining a lot of weight, and I hated my body as a result. I would daydream about waking up one morning and realizing that all the fat had disappeared overnight, and now I was skinny and pretty like the other, more petite, girls. But this never happened; I have been chubby ever since.

   Once I got to high school, I started to accept my body a little more. I decided that, unless my weight was directly affecting my health, there is no reason to worry about it. I was much happier after I adopted this attitude, and I felt like I had finally made peace with my body.

   However, this didn’t last for long. In the spring of my sophomore year, I was 5’9”, 15 years old, and weighed 196 lbs. I felt fine and I wasn’t experiencing any health problems related to my weight. I was even on the swim and water polo teams at my school. But my (thin) parents suddenly decided that my weight was negatively affecting my health and making me feel like crap, even though I had never even mentioned my weight to them. They sat me down in this weird intervention and told me they were going to put me on a dieting program. They said they were concerned about my health and they told me I would feel much better once I lost weight. I didn’t want to do it, but being reminded of the years of hating my body made it so all I could do was cry and reluctantly agree to it. Looking back, the whole thing involved a lot of manipulation and coercion, despite their good intentions.

   We went to the center for this weight loss program (it’s a well-known one, but I won’t say the name), and after weighing me and measuring my height, they determined (using BMI) that I needed to lose 46 lbs. Long story short, I ended up eating nothing but frozen microwave meals from this company for the better part of a year. I became miserable and depressed. I missed my dad’s home-cooked meals. I hated not being able to eat what everyone else was eating and I felt excluded. I began to hate my body again, too. When I stopped losing weight as rapidly as when I started and my weight plateaued, I felt like a failure. It didn’t help that I was also dealing with undiagnosed depression and anxiety at the time. People kept asking me if I felt any better after losing 20 pounds, but I didn’t feel any different physically, I just felt worse mentally. It got to a point where, after meals, I would think about going to the bathroom and forcing myself to vomit. I never actually did, fortunately, but I thought about it all the time. It scared me.

   About 8 months in, my dad told me he could no longer afford to buy the planned meals anymore, and I stopped the program. This may have been true, but I think he also sensed how unhappy I was. I am now going on 17, I have not been on a diet since, and I am so much happier. Since then, I sought treatment for my mental problems and am learning to accept my body again. I’ve probably gained all the weight back, but I don’t care. I much prefer the feeling of being able to order a milkshake unapologetically and without feeling like a sinner (This is partially thanks to the body positive movement on tumblr. And people say “sjw’s” don’t accomplish anything…). I’ve realized the diet programs are bullshit and they profit off of people who have been taught by society that they won’t be loved or valued unless they are skinny. My problems haven’t disappeared, but leaving the toxic “dieting culture” behind was a great, big step in the right direction. However, it still makes me fucking livid that I was pressured into doing it in the first place, by people who care about me.