9 posts tagged denial
The fact that you think ‘the world’ being a fat hating place is my perception of it and not reality tells me two things:
1. You’re not fat (you have thin privilege)
2. You’re in denial, or just very very ignorant
Really? “every single story with a few details changed”?
So you have a hard time fitting into seats in public transportation, restaurants, movie theaters, and theme parks?
You’ve been denied cancer treatments, kidney transplants, knee surgery, fertility treatments, and you’re routinely denied basic healthcare by a demonstrably biased medical profession until you change your body size?
You’re barred from adopting by many countries and private organizations due to your body size?
Your BMI means you might not be allowed to emigrate to certain countries?
You’re called a bad parent not for anything you actually do but simply by virtue of your body size?
You have several television shows dedicated to changing your thin body into a fat body?
Some of the most popular dating sites have a category where you can indicate whether or not your thin body is a ‘dealbreaker,’ an option most site members avail themselves of?
There’s a $60 billion dollar weight gain industry?
You might be thrown off a plane if you don’t pay for two seats ahead of time?
There are ads nearly every commercial break at this time of year, then again during ‘beach season,’ that show thin befores and fat afters?
No. Fuck no. Fuck. No. Thin-shaming is not oppression. Thin-shaming is a side-effect of FAT OPPRESSION. Fuck you for trying to appropriate very real structural oppression and marginalize people who are being treated as fucking SUBHUMANS and DYING because of it EVERY FUCKING DAY.
Go live in your fantasyland of thin oppression elsewhere. You’re in such severe denial I wonder whether you’re actually from this planet. At the very least, I know for certain that you NEVER read anything on this blog.
This ask, folks, is the definition of ‘thinsplaining.’
And it goes without saying that this person’s coming from a place deeply entrenched in thin privilege.
Oh, how I wish the worst problem with my clothing was that it was somewhat baggy and had to be taken in! At the very least you can always cover your body. You need to stop reblogging posts about how hard it is finding plus sizes (especially larger plus sizes) with, “But it’s hard for thin people to find clothes, too.” You just can’t not have the spotlight for one fucking minute, even (especially!) when you have no fucking idea what it’s like for a plus size person to cover their fucking bodies in an adequate and affordable way. THAT is thin privilege.
Thin privilege is being able to post media of yourself on Tumblr without worrying if it’ll be used as negative reinforcement for the Thinspo Community.
Thin privilege is having thinspo blogs following you and not having to worry about why.
I know thinspo blogs follow me and I just hope they know that I am happy, and they aren’t. You’ll never make me ashamed of who I am.
I’m sorry but I don’t believe a happy person would wish unhappiness on another. I think a happy person would say “I just hope it inspires them to get the help they need” or “I hope my blog helps them learn to love themselves just the way they are”. Your comment makes me very uncomfortable because it’s so mean-spirited.
Wait, thinspo blogs regularly rip off fat blogs and pictures and objectify them to suit their own needs — which typically include panning the content/picture as a negative example to be avoided at all costs — and we’re the bad guys if we don’t wish them luck and happiness?
Fuck OFF. Really, you’d think someone would reconsider the verity of their argument when they have to twist themselves into that degree of logical convolution to make a point.
Privileged groups aren’t the ones that get to decide if privilege exists.
So, with all due respect, sit down, shut up, listen, and maybe you’ll learn something.
Thin privilege is the ability to deny your own privilege because you don’t believe people have been “wrong enough” to fat people.
When I was arrested (for being 30 feet away from a car jacking that I had nothing to do with, I was reprehended by the owner of the car until the police arrived — although I was nowhere near his car nor did I run or resist) I tried to explain this to the officer who promptly interrupted me with “I don’t need to listen to you, fat ass.” I was then arrested and spent 2 nights in jail charged with that car jacking.
When I was fired from being a dog walker although I had invested my own interests and resources — grew to love and adore the dogs I was caring for and worked harder and more committedly than ANYONE at the agency — I was told it was because two families had insisted I couldn’t be a qualified dog walker because of my weight. When I can not only run and walk for longer than the other walkers — but also lift heavier objects.
Thin privilege is your ability to turn around and say that this is simply “not enough” to qualify as discrimination.
1. Not all fat people are curvy. Nor are all fat people ‘over’ some more perfect weight. Fat people are fat. There’s really no better way to describe them that doesn’t erase or marginalize them, somehow.
2. What’s encouraging people to be victims on this blog? I post real stories from real people about real discrimination. Fat discrimination is real, and so is the other side of fat discrimination, thin privilege.
Ignoring discrimination isn’t taking responsibility for it, nor does it make people who don’t ignore discrimination victims. Before you can eradicate something you need to know what you’re trying to eradicate.
Making people aware of privilege and discrimination doesn’t perpetuate privilege and discrimination. That’s like saying if we just ignore the bully, the bully will go away. As anyone who’s gone through grade school knows, ignoring bullies doesn’t make them go away. Holding people accountable for their fuckups isn’t what causes fuckups. Not holding bullies accountable is the problem.
3. This blog isn’t just directed at ‘girls,’ but girls, and women, and boys, and men, and people who don’t identify with any of those categories, and people who identify with more than one of those categories (and perhaps some I haven’t listed). Fat women and girls are just more discriminated against because they get the double whammy of fate hate and misogyny.
4. I don’t know if my readership is beautiful. I’m not one of these blanket “You are beautiful!” -issuers, like beauty is a knightship or something. Frankly, I don’t think beauty is a social justice goal that I’m interested in promoting, since the decency and respect I talk about has nothing to do with whether or not we satisfy some society or group or person’s idea of ‘beauty,’ nor should it. That’s kind of the point.
5. I don’t tell anyone to have a pity party. This blog tells stories, it shares experiences, discusses movies and books and TV and celebrities, picks apart trolls, and occasionally talks about science stuff.
Talking about privilege isn’t supposed to make anyone feel good. Privilege is a social imbalance whereby some groups are awarded unearned opportunities and advantages over other groups. Bad stuff makes you feel bad, there’s no getting around that. It’s real, and real life isn’t all self-affirmations.
It doesn’t matter how many times you tell yourself that you’re beautiful, you might still get garbage thrown on you when you go outside to take a walk, or see commercials about people who are so very happy not to look like you, or be rejected for a date with your crush because of your body size, or be abused by your parents because of your body size, or not be able to adopt because of your body size, or to fly on a single fare, or keep your kids in a custody battle, or get a kidney transplant, or knee surgery, or chemotherapy.
tldr; Calling yourself ‘beautiful’ doesn’t magically wipe away fat discrimination. It can make it hurt less in some cases, but it’s still there. Not only that, but ignoring fat discrimination doesn’t do a thing to help the people who are affected by it more than you are.
6. If you want to start a blog calling everyone beautiful and ignoring discrimination, go for it. I’m not sure why I get so many asks from people telling me how I ‘should’ run this blog — there’s a big internet out there, of which this is just one tiny corner. Go ahead and claim your own space, and then you can run the show.
Thin privilege is not being questioned whether you are fit to be a model. It also means that you are the norm and will not be categorized as a “Plus Sized” model.
(submitted by softbonegrey)
If you wear plus sized clothing, you’ll model plus sized clothing.
By your reasoning, since 14 is the average size of a woman in the States anything below a few sizes around 14 — say 8 and below — should be called ‘minus sized,’ and anything above say a 20 should be called ‘plus sized.’ Instead, size 8+ models are ‘plus sized,’ plus sized clothing lines start at 12/14/16 and up, and everything below that is just clothing without a modifier.
The author’s point was that models (and clothing) above a certain size are ‘plus size’ and below a certain size are just models. It’s normalizing a thin body ideal and otherizing a larger (and note, not even that large) body.
That’s what thin privilege is: the vast majority of thin people get to be people, while the vast majority of fat people are fat people. Thin privilege is when thin is the default, and fat is deviant.