This is Thin Privilege

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Thin privilege is not having your body type put on display as something disgusting and repulsive

With the recent Steam video game sale, my boyfriend suggested we buy The Typing of the Dead: Overkill, because it’s supposed to be a funny game where you fight off zombies by typing in words. We did end up getting it, but after playing to the second level I literally can’t bring myself to even consider touching it again. 

The second level you play as two stripper girls (hooray sexualization in video games), and the strip club you’re in is being attacked by zombies. To escape, you have to find your motorcycle keys, which unfortunately are being held by the boss of the level, a stripper-turned-zombie. Sounds alright, right? 

It’s really not, and please skip this paragraph if you’re sensitive to really horrendous depictions of fat people. Since becoming a zombie, the stripper has transformed into a giant, slimy fat zombie woman, and the keys are stuck in-between the folds of her giant belly fat rolls. She’s portrayed as so fat and big she can’t even stand up and move around to fight, she just throws objects at the player without getting up. She’s still in her stripper bikini, but she’s shown as having every roll possible hanging out of it, with even one saggy breast flopping out of the top the whole time (way to hypersexualize while desexualizing at the same time). When you finally defeat her, you have to pull the keys out of her belly folds, and it’s depicted as this disgusting spectacle that they have to touch her at all, and that it’s a difficult task, like her stomach fat is consciously holding onto the keys, with a loud squelching pop when they finally come out. 

The boss of this level, as a fat zombie woman, is meant to disgust the player in every way possible. As a woman with a body type really similar to hers, it was unbearable watching the display they made in doing so. It literally got to the point where I had a breakdown and couldn’t continue playing at all. Fortunately I have an understanding boyfriend, and he hasn’t suggested playing it since. 

Thin privilege is not having your body and body type shown as being the epitome of disgusting, and too repulsive to even consider touching. 

Thin privilege is being able to play a video game meant to be fun and hilarious, and not have it specifically target you and people that look like you as the joke.  

Thin privilege is having your body type represented in video games, and not just as a hyperbolic representation of sloth/greed/gluttony/general disgust.

(Side note on this game as well: it also has some really disgusting displays of ableism. Please avoid this game at all costs.)

Trigger Warning! : Rapid weight loss, depression, 

Thin Privilege is not being surprised when clothes start getting looser and having everyone act like weight lose due to depression is a good thing. 

I recently fell into a depression because I had to leave my home and husband while we go threw immigration. Today I put on some shorts that were a bit tight when I first bought them and found them to be a bit saggy. My weight has always fluctuated but I have always remained a fat girl, this being said I was surprised because I had just wore these shorts a week ago and they were not this loose which means I lost a lot of weight in a little amount of time. When I brought this up to my mother she acted as if I should be happy that I am shedding so much weight so quickly. I’m not happy because it’s a side effect of my depression and loosing to much weight to quickly is more harmful that good. I’m fat because I love food and I love to eat and because my family is primarily fat people with the skinny ones being married and when I am unhappy, depressed, and miserable I don’t eat. I lose my appetite and desire to feed myself. This is NOT a good thing and I don’t appreciate people telling me that it’s a good thing to be depressed if it means I lose weight.

Fatphobic 4th of July with family

Sorry, this is gonna be a long one. I have to let it all out.

This 4th of July I had to spend with my grandparents and my mom. So we went out to dinner that evening. I thought it would be nice to be out enjoying the nice day. Anyway, the entire time, my grandmother kept focusing on my weight while I was eating stating that I was losing weight or some bullshit. I explained to her that I was not dieting and do not care to diet because they don’t work. She just kept focusing on my size the entire dinner. I felt so uncomfortable about it. It just made me so angry because instead of at least asking about other things in my life. The only thing she cares about is my weight. I love my granny, but she is a pain to deal with sometimes. She is obsessed with weight, I mean OBSESSED to the point that she says she needs to diet and only wants to eat grapefruit because she wants to stay thin. She is freakin 80 years old. Why is she so concerned about staying thin instead of worrying about other things? I just dont get it.

Later that night, she asked my mom what we eat and stuff and my mom said that we ate a burger the other day. My granny was like “you don’t need to feed her a burger ever. That is the wrong thing to be giving her!” Basically, because I am fat, I am not supposed to eat what is seen as unhealthy food, but they eat the SAME foods all the time. I am fucking 26 years old and do not need someone to tell me how to eat for my damn body. I know how to properly feed myself, I dont need a teacher. People seem to think that fat people are stupid and dont know how to take care of ourselves. I hate to say this, but I am sick and fucking tired of people concern trolling me and thinking that I want to be thin and that I should be thin.

The whole entire day was a mess because she constantly keeps focusing on my food intake and what I eat and how much I eat. Then she keeps talking about my body all the fucking time saying that my legs are big and how she has thin skinny legs. I feel like a fucking joke because she just thinks talking about me is alright. I have told her numerous times that I dont like the way she is treating me, but she says “I’m being too sensitive and that she didnt mean it.” I hate fucking thin privilege and I am really angry right now, because I want to be treated as a person not a caricature of stereotypes that people associate with us. I want to be HUMAN! I want to be real and I want to be treated like a person!!!! Is it that hard for people to understand? Even family members?

(tw: binge eating)

I just want to thank you and all of fat Tumblr. Over the past few months my self-image has changed so much. I’ve bought some nice clothes, instead of breaking down in changing rooms thinking I failed myself by being fat. I’ve cut my hair into a pixie and dyed it, something I always thought I’d do “when I’m finally thin”. I’ve binged a lot less, and I don’t dream of binging anymore. I feel less anxious about my weight when around (new) people. Yes, I still have some ways to go towards complete mental health/a healthy body image/confidence. But I’ve come so much further than I ever thought. Thank you and keep spreading the word! :)

Thin privilege is being treated like a paying customer when you go shopping. 

Given the well documented fat shaming history of Lululemon, it’s obviously not a store I would support or a place I’d ever shop for myself (not that there’s anything there that fits me anyway…) however my 14 year old niece desperately wanted a pair of lululemon pants for her birthday. Perhaps I was stupid for going into that store in the first place and expecting anything other than discriminatory treatment, but I need a place to vent so here goes:

My niece is a small fat and barely over 5’1” so usually fits into a size 10/12 (which is the largest lululemon carries) and apparently all the other girls at her school wear lululemon so she wants to fit in. My sister (her mother) and I took her on a lunch/shopping date for her birthday. Since life is tough for a fat teenager at school and my niece is a sweet, kind, generous young lady, I really wanted to help make the day special for her. A $100 pair of pants is not generally in the budget for my sister, so my niece was so excited to pick out her “lulus”. We got there about 10 minutes after the store opened so it was almost empty with only one other customer and the discrimination started right away. First of all, there’s almost no space between tables and racks, making it awkward for my sister and I to move around. Then there were the glares for the employees. We made our way over to the pants section to find that the “larger” size 12s were buried at the bottom, with only a couple colors if any. My niece picked out a few 10s and 12s to try, and took them to the fitting area where there were about 4 attendants milling around chatting. The only other customer in the store area was a tall, slim girl and they were positively doting on her. Suggesting styles, giving her advice on fit, taking clothes away, running all over the store to find sizes, etc. Meanwhile, my niece stood there awkwardly and finally had to approach someone to even get a changeroom. The 10s did not fit her, and the only 12s were in the cropped version when she really wanted the long. Noticing that the employees were running to the back to look for shades (not even colors, shades of colors, like the blue grey instead of the steel grey) for the thin girl, and then helping her order in anything they didn’t have, we asked a man if there were any 12 pants thinking maybe they were in the back. He practically sneered at us and asked if we’d checked the shelves. When were said yes, he didn’t offer to look in the stores or order in, or suggest a style, or anything, just said “whatever’s out there is what’s it. We don’t specialize in big sizes” and turned his back. Of course this all happened in front of the thin customer and she just stood there like a smug ice queen.  My niece is already self conscious and i could see her eyes welling up.  I suggested going to another store entirely, but she was desperate for lululemon so we ended up having to buy the cropped version which only came in plain black without any of the colored bands she was admiring. It broke my heart to see her special day ruined even if I KNOW I should have expected better from a misogynist fat shaming store like lululemon.   

Thin Privilege is not having hateful articles like this one written about you just because you’re not ashamed of being fat. According to this writer, everyone who is overweight without a metabolic disorder should be hiding their bodies in shame instead of living their lives.

If you read the article, beware: TW: fate hate, hate, eating disorders, hate language

I’ve never been properly fitted for a bra. I have trouble wearing them because I have sensory sensitivity issues and the ones I buy at the story always hurt or itch long before the day is done. It took me several sites in order to find a chart that goes to 48D/DD and let me convert to other countries sizes, and I still have yet to find a place that sells any affordably. But this one has to be the best response.

I’ve never been properly fitted for a bra. I have trouble wearing them because I have sensory sensitivity issues and the ones I buy at the story always hurt or itch long before the day is done. It took me several sites in order to find a chart that goes to 48D/DD and let me convert to other countries sizes, and I still have yet to find a place that sells any affordably. But this one has to be the best response.

This privilege is looking up watermelon recipes on Women’s Health website and not being bombarded with pop-up adds shaming you. Namely one that offers a “bikini body plan” and only allows you to close it by either accepting or checking “No thanks, I’ve already got a bikini body.” (implying only a toned one, with working out, as per the pictures)

But you know? Every body is a bikini body if you put a fucking bikini on it, so bite me.

Humiliated At SE:NYC – A Cosplayer’s Story

Thin privilege is being able to cosplay in a skimpy costume and not being threatened to be thrown of the premises because of what you are wearing.

http://www.bleedingcool.com/2014/06/17/humiliated-at-senyc-a-cosplayers-story

This WOC decided to cosplay wearing a Deadpool shirt, a black miniskirt and fishnet stockings. 5 minutes after her arrival she was approached by staff who told her that she had complaints about her attire and if they received any more complaints that she would be escorted off the premises. They told her that the convention was a “family friendly event.”
The kicker? There were other cosplayers (read: thin women) that were far more revealing and “inappropriate.”

She tweeted about her experience on Twitter and it spread to the point that the staff felt that they should “apologize” by giving her a coupon for a free t-shirt, as she puts it “a bandaid solution.”

At the last minute I was able to get babysitting for our 5 year anniversary. Unfortunately with two kids my entire wardrobe consists of plain colored tank tops, long sleeve shirts, and tattered faded skirts. So I get to wear the same old plain nasty milk and baby poop stained clothes to our supposed-to-be romantic anniversary date because the only store near me that carries my size is Lane Bryant and I don’t have the money to buy their overpriced flimsy clothes that aren’t even my style to begin with, and that’s even if they have my size in stock! It’s extra shitty because my husband dresses nice all the time so I look and feel like garbage standing next to him. Thin privilege is being able to run out at the last minute and throw together a presentable outfit for a reasonable price, not considering the extra privilege of having a large selection to tailor that outfit to personal taste.

(Sorry for any mistakes, English isn’t my native language, and feel free to add or remove tags because I’m not sure what to tag)

tw: bullying mention, diet mention

I was lucky enough to find this blog while still young, and it has helped me a lot. I used to get dressed and look into the mirror, staring at my reflection’s body and thinking “I would look so good if I were just a little thinner”. But now when I look into the mirror, what comes to mind is “I look so good”. Period. I can’t describe how amazing it feels to know that it’s okay to be how I am and that I don’t need to go through a process I dread to change how I look just to be accepted by others.

Anyway, to the actual reason I’m submitting this: I turned 18 just a few days ago, and my mom finally got me something I’ve been wanting for years: a 3DS. I was ecstatic. But then, she revealed a bonus gift: spandex. At least, I think it’s spandex. She described it as something similar to leggings that’ll give me a “nice shape”. Basically, this is how the conversation went when she showed them to me.

Her: It will make your body look nice!
Me: My body is already nice.
Her: No, I mean it will make your body look fit(!!!) and give it a nice shape!
Me: …

At that point I was kind of sad. I’ve been bigger my whole life and my mom has never outright said “you need to lose weight”. She’d suggest diets and “slimming” items, and of course, I used to agree because I thought it was a bad thing that I was fat. (Even though my mom was never harsh about me losing weight, I was bullied by classmates because I was “overweight”) But after reading this blog and other things similar to it, my outlook completely changed and I stopped accepting to do such things. When I wore things that fatphobes would look down on as “unacceptable for my body type”, my mom would tell me how good I looked in them. And I felt good in them. I know she’s only trying to “help” me by giving me something like that to wear, but it makes me sad because I now recognize even the smallest bits of fatphobia.

I know there are bigger people who actually want things to hide their rolls and bellies. If that’s what makes them more comfortable, then that’s perfectly fine. But I didn’t ask for this spandex thing, and I never have, even when I thought my body looked ‘wrong’. What’s wrong with how I look in clothes already? I have a belly and rolls, big deal. Why should I have to wear something to “cover” them or make them less visible? It just makes me a little upset that my mom is the one who thinks “If she looked just a little thinner, she’d look amazing!” now.

Sorry if this didn’t make sense. I wanted to vent more than anything.

A couple years ago my cousin got married. I decided to wear a dress I had bought on sale and looooved, but had never had a chance to wear to a nice event. It had thin spaghetti straps and a sweetheart neckline, with an a-line skirt that went to mid-thigh. It was a bit more revealing than I often wear, but I thought it would be fine for the wedding and a cost effective choice. It had a glamourous 1920s vibe and I was excited to wear it. 

I showed it to my mom and she hated it, mostly cause she thought it showed too much skin. She felt it was “inappropriate for a family wedding”. She told me that she would buy me a new dress rather than have me wear this dress. 

My sister bought a dress for the wedding too. It had thin straps, a low v-neck, and went to her mid-thigh. It also had a cut-out back.

My sister showed her dress to my mom. My mom loved it. 

I am a size 14, my sister (though a difference in metabolism) is a size 2. 

Thin privilege is being able to show a little skin without your body being read as “inappropriate”. 

My mom bought me a new dress. It was more modest, and I did like it. I wore it to the wedding and danced with my sister in her backless dress. 

The Supposed “Privilege” of Plus Size Stores

So I just read this post about Lulu Lemon. As mentioned in it, there is a popular argument that thin privileged people like to use about how they can’t buy from a Plus Sized store so fat people shouldn’t whine about not being able to find clothes - well, just about everywhere else I guess.

Here’s the thing:

A thin person who cannot find their size in a plus store can go to any other fucking store. A plus size person can only find their size in a plus size store, if they can find a plus size store. And there are some people who even size out of most brick and mortar plus stores.

So to recap: thin person strikes out at plus store - goes next door to another store. Fat person strikes out at a plus store - goes home empty-handed. NOT THE SAME THING.

Also: A thin person can buy a larger size and have it altered. A fat person cannot buy a smaller size and do the same - no a huge percentage of clothes are not made to be “let out”, they just expect you to go to the next size - which they don’t make so guess what, no clothes for you fatty!

A fat person would shop at a normal store if they could - they can’t so plus stores exist for them. A thin person can shop at a normal store, so they don’t have to go near a plus size store. A thin person asking for smaller sizes is just in the wrong store. A fat person asking for bigger sizes is asking for something that every thin person already has: access to clothes that fit. Mistaking size discrimination for elitism is thin privilege. As is equating an attempt to provide equal access with “special treatment” or exclusivity. Additionally, viewing elitism as a positive thing, because you benefit in part from that exclusivity, is a part of being privileged.

Plus size stores are a necessary evil that exist because “regular” stores do not carry larger sizes. Thin people do not expect to find clothes at plus stores because they don’t need to. Do you really think there are thin people gazing with longing and envy into a Catherine’s or a Lane Bryant or a Torrid and wringing their hands that their body size has doomed them to ‘only’ shop at every other damn store in the mall? Oh please. They are grateful they don’t have to buy their clothes at a store for fatties. Thin people do not HAVE to go to plus size stores. The fact that they don’t is thin privilege.

Thin privilege is thinking that going and getting what you want is even close to being the same as having to go out of your way to get something you usually can’t have, but other’s always can.

My best friend, whom I’ve known for about four years, is a skinny woman, and I am, and have always been, fat. (Currently around 250lbs)

She is very passive aggressive, and it is often clear that she is annoyed with me for my weight, although she will deny it every time.

For instance, when we went on a trip to Washington D.C., we spent two days sightseeing and walking around museums; we were on our feet for 12 hours each day, and while I was happy to be walking around, because I don’t get tired or out of breath easily, quickly my feet began to hurt.

The pain was so bad, every step I took was agonising, and it really soured my experience of the city. Like I said, I was happy to be walking around; I wanted to see everything too, but I need semi frequent breaks to rest my feet, which my friend was unwilling to take. She would tell me that she had no problem stopping for ten minutes every now and then, but when we would stop she would constantly be looking at the time, complaining about how we weren’t going to be able to see all the things that she wanted to see. She thought that my ‘laziness’ was ruining her vacation.

Eventually I became very angry with her, explaining to her that it was not my ‘laziness’, but the fact that I had over 120lbs more weight to carry around than she did, and that her behaviour was what was ruining the trip for me. She became very upset about this accusation, insisting that I was being too sensitive, and her passive aggression was all in my head. She told me that if it was that difficult for me to walk around all day, I should ‘just lose weight’.

On a separate occasion, we went on a shopping trip to a city an hour outside of our small town. I got upset during the trip because the majority of mainstream stores don’t carry my size, and despite trying for most of the day I had found nothing that fit me.

When I complained about this, instead of consoling me or having any kind of solidarity, she got angry with me for being upset, saying that it’s difficult for her to find her size (size 4) sometimes too, and that I was, again, ruining the trip by being negative. I tried to explain to her that this is my life, and that I haven’t been able to shop in mainstream stores or find a pair of jeans that fit for the past 6 years, but despite insisting that she sympathises with me, she believes that if I want clothes that fit, I should ‘just lose weight’. 

She has ridiculous standards about other peoples bodies, often talking about how everyone should be able to fit their hand all the way around their own wrists, and decrying women who wear revealing clothing.

She even once told me that people’s breasts should not move when they take off their bra, and if they do they need to ‘work harder’.  

Today she posted an article on facebook about how models should not have diverse body types, as we should not be ‘promoting’ obesity, and it’s pretty much the final straw for me. While in many ways she’s been a good friend to me, and we have always had a lot in common outside of our body types, I’m done with her and the way she always makes me feel like crap.

Thin privilege is not understanding that different people’s bodies have different needs, and that not everyone can be as mobile as you for as long as you can. 

Thin privilege is not understanding the pain that not being able to shop easily for clothes can cause, and believing that someone does not deserve a pleasant shopping trip if they don’t lose weight.

Thin privilege is believing that any body type that differs from your own is wrong, and that your arbitrary rules for what constitutes a ‘normal’ body are the only ones that count.

Thin privilege is believing that you can treat your best friend like shit out of ‘concern for her health’, and not have her end your toxic friendship.