211 posts tagged advice
TW: poverty, gyms, health-policing, diets, fitness, body-shaming.
I know this intasects with class privilege too, but its something that’s been bothering me and actually getting in the way of my ability to love myself. All will be explained.
My sister and I have inherited different sets of genetics. I, like my brother and father, am fat, but she, like my mother, is naturally very thin. Neither of us are very muscular naturally, but we work hard to keep fit despite this. We work out together a couple of times a week and encourage each other on our fitness goals (lifting X amount of weights, holding a yoga pose for X minutes). We’re both doing well and keeping fit and healthy (she does better in weights and I do better in yoga).
But she somehow still believe that my weight is because of my diet. Of course, she knows better then to accuse me of not exercising, but she will insist I’m not exercising “right” or eating “right” and that’s why I am fat and she is not. I try and tell her to look at how my face resembles dad’s and our brother’s, not mom’s, which shows where I inherited it, but she then starts criticising them both for their weight and saying how they shouldn’t eat what they do (they sometimes eat snacks) or they should exercise more (they ARE inactive, but, while I like to exercise, I refuse to judge others based on their exercise habits: it’s their bodies to do what they want with). Of course, I find all this talk very offensive and have to end it there, before I have a break down (I know I’m more vulnerable to her diet-talk when I am depressed).
My sister and I both eat intuitively and work hard to eat healthy foods as much as possible. She eats “Paleo”, but I eat a flexitarian diet. But we both eat as much as we want or need, to fuel our bodies. We both have the odd treat. She criticizes me for not following her diet, even though she KNOWS that when I tried it I felt tired and sluggish and sore for days. I need to eat low-meat and high-carb. In her head, “if only” I would eat “right”, I’d be thin like her. She tries to compare her withdrawel from caffeine to the immense suffering I endured for a week when I tried eating her diet. The kicker: I also started losing weight FAR too fast on her diet. As in, a friend of mine whos studying medcine told me to stop whatever I was doing, it was that fast. But my sister saw it as GOOD and only focuses on that when she discusses how I did on her diet. “But you were losing weight!!!” I have to explain to her that I love my body and want it to be healthy, not unnaturally thin. She then usually starts telling me how I AM naturally thin (because a non-doctor like her who’s on a crazy diet is SURE to know, right?), just that I eat too many calories. So, if I haven’t left the room by now, I defend myself and explain to her how, if you REALLY believe in physics, then you need to understand that a bigger body needs more calories than a smaller body to fuel and maintain itself. So OF COURSE I eat a few more than her. We have to have this conversation every day. Being the alpha I am, I won’t back down, but she’s too stubborn to accept that I know more about my body than she does.
Now here comes the class issue.She gets paid a bit more at her job than I do at mine. I get minimum wage as a hairdresser’s assistant, she gets a fixed wage as a waitress, but gets tips, which mean she usually comes home with more cash than I do. This means I need to buy more food (vegetarian food is low in calories, so you need more and I need more to keep my body fuelled) on a lower income and she needs to buy less food on a high income. Of course, this means she can afford the “nice” foods and the “super” foods and the “healthy” foods, because she only buys a bit of it and has more money to spend on greens and akay berries or whatever after she’s bought her eggs and potatoes. Yet she still has the cheek to criticize my food choices, when, if I bought the “healthy” foods she gets, I wouldn’t be able to afford the calories I need to survive.
But, of course, because she’s thin everyone nods in agreement when she criticizes my weight, my body, my workouts or my diet. But when I stand up for myself I get stared at for daring to tell a thin person that they don’t understand health.
Thin Privilege is being able to health-police people and have it seen as your right to do so.
Thin Privilege is people assuming you understand health, nutrition and bodies.
Thin Privilege is being blind to how even a small difference in income could affect your food options.
Thin Privilege is thinking said food options are choices and that these “choices” are what determines your body shape, even when genetics clearlys shows otherwise.
Thin Privilege is being able to randomly decide what’s “healthy” for someone else without worrying that someone will call you out on your bullshit.
Disclaimer: While I am having a go at her here, I DO love her and I enjoy working out with her. She’s fine in the gym. It’s in the kitchen where her entitlement annoys me. This is why I still talk to her. I also hope that someday she’ll be able to see how healthy we BOTH are, rather than always think of herself as healthier because she’s thinner.
tw: abusive parents
Aha! Found it. (Advice targeted to parents of fat people, but good advice for all parents, IMO.)
(Which is a wonderful blog as well, so signal boost as well.)
[Tw: eating disorder, abuse, weight loss]
First of all, thank you for this blog. I love it, and the only reason I have never submitted anything here is that I thought I had nothing to say. Now I have, and forgive me for the bitterness, the sarcasm and the length of this post.
In this fucked-up fat-shaming society, I have been in real danger and I didn’t even know that until a month ago.
I’m almost 20 years old and I’m a “small” fat. I’m a U.S. size 10, but since I’m short (5’2”) I clearly do not appear as a thin, tiny girl. Probably if I lived in the U.S. I would be considered as average and I would maybe have thin privilege, but in my country it’s not like that (my size is the largest avilable in stores) so I have been fat-shamed for almost all my life.
My late childhood and early teenage years, though, were the worst.
I never really cared that much about fat-shaming from strangers or schoolmates, so I won’t talk about that. The most dangerous and hurtful fat-shaming comes from your own relatives, beacause you can’t just tell them to fuck off and go on with your life.
During every meal with my family, my mum had to criticize every single thing I ate. EVERY. SINGLE. THING. No matter if it was a piece of cheese or a salad, for her it was always too much. My aunts and cousins did more or less the same, saying that all I ate would make me fat, that I had to be really lazy and they called me names that I won’t write down here. Very often my mum used to tell me to control myself.
Obviously, for them I was eating for fun, not beacause I was hungry (“How can you be so hungry when you’re fat?”). On the contrary, my skinny sister could eat all sorts of junk food and almost no fruits at all, beacause “hey, she’s skinny, so she needs to eat more!”.
Of course they justified all the restrictions they made to me with the “fact” that they were concerned about my health. I din’t feel healthy at all, but since they are my family I thought they were right and I felt guilty for eating more than usual when I ate alone, without them “lecturing” me on my “healthy” food intake.
In my highschool years, anyway, I heavily felt that something was not right with my body, so at 17 years old I stopped following any advice from others and I started to eat whatever I wanted whenever I wanted without all my usual overthinking about it. Right now I consider myself very lucky to have had enough strength to do that. I did not even suspect that for the largest part of my life I was mistreating my body! Almost three years have passed, and guess what? In the first months I gained around 30 pounds, but since then I have been more or less the same weight (probably my REAL healthy weight!). I’m much more active now, and I’m stronger. My realtives are still fat-shaming me, but they noticed that I don’t care and they do it less than before. Did they ever suspect that I was most likely going to have an eating disorder? I don’t think so, since they encouraged it. (I’m too fat to become anorexic, right?)
A month ago I thought about the whole eating thing and how it affected my life and I realized a lot of things that were normal for me were not anymore:
It’s been almost three years since the last time I felt my stomach grumbling all night.
It’s been two years and seven months since the last time I threw up blood.
It’s been two years and half since the last time I binged.
It’s been two years and half since the last time I was ashamed to be myself in front of others.
It’s been two years since the last time I thought being sick was a lucky event for my weight.
It’s been two years since the last time I passed out.
It’s been two years since the last time I felt weak and unable to do a phisical thing.
It’s been a year and half since the last time I skipped a meal.
It’s been a year and a month since the first time I felt beautiful, and happy, and okay with myself.
I guess that thin privilege is not having to ignore your own family in order to keep living.
So, for all the fat people in the world who has been said that “you have to eat less beacause this way you will lose weight and will be healthier and happier…”
Don’t be happy for that.
Don’t be upset for that.
Just be indifferent.
Since this subject has come up, I wanted to point something out that some people might not know. (Since I live in the US, this pertains to the US, but I’m sure other developed countries have similar laws and procedures.)
First, some definitions (I’m taking these from the page I’m about to link to because they are so relevant and succinct):
Cyberstalking. Cyberstalking is the use of the Internet, email or other electronic communications to stalk, and generally refers to a pattern of threatening or malicious behaviors. Cyberstalking may be considered the most dangerous of the three types of Internet harassment, based on a posing credible threat of harm. Sanctions range from misdemeanors to felonies.
Cyberharassment. Cyberharassment differs from cyberstalking in that it may generally be defined as not involving a credible threat. Cyberharassment usually pertains to threatening or harassing email messages, instant messages, or to blog entries or websites dedicated solely to tormenting an individual. Some states approach cyberharrassment by including language addressing electronic communications in general harassment statutes, while others have created stand-alone cyberharassment statutes.
This comes from the NCSL (National Conference of State Legislatures) and is located here: http://www.ncsl.org/research/telecommunications-and-information-technology/cyberstalking-and-cyberharassment-laws.aspx It also lists which states have which laws in place with links to the relevant statutes.
The key here, when it gets bad enough to fall under the above definitions (and I’ve seen several cases on tumblr already that satisfy both of the above definitions) is to not just report it to tumblr. The key is to file a report with your local law enforcement agency (police, sheriff’s office, local FBI office, the Internet Crime Complaints Center, etc). Once an investigation starts, and depending upon the severity, the law enforcement agency will get a court order that will force tumblr to release, to the law enforcement agency, any information they have on the person/people under investigation (i.e., legal name, IP address (which can then be used to track them down via their IP), etc.). At that point, once there is a law enforcement investigation, tumblr can no longer ignore it, or they will face, at the very least, contempt of court.
Where this gets even more interesting is if the stalker/harasser and the victim are in different states. Because then, again depending on the severity, the FBI gets involved. And federal punishments tend to be more severe than the ones states dish out. These are the federal statutes: http://www.victimsofcrime.org/our-programs/stalking-resource-center/stalking-laws/federal-stalking-laws
And where this gets *really* interesting is if it’s a teen doing these crimes on the internet access their parents pay for. Depending on the parent (some are just as scummy as their children, alas), this can result in some metaphorical pyrotechnics when the parents find out just what their child(ren) have been doing. Because in some cases, parents can be held monetarily responsible for the damage from crimes their children commit with their internet access, just like they can be held monetarily responsible for damage their children cause while driving the family vehicle.
And if you think these cases are ignored or go uninvestigated/unprosecuted, think again:
Keep in mind as well that, in addition to being crimes, cyberharassment and cyberstalking are also actionable offenses in civil courts/actionable torts. This means that the perpetrators can be sued in civil court as well as prosecuted for the crime.
And finally, this is a good article that covers the basics: http://abcnews.go.com/Technology/We_Find_Them/ways-handle-prevent-cyber-harassment/story?id=15973742
Now, I do want to point out, again, that this all depends upon the severity of each case.
If you are being cyberharassed or cyberstalked, the most important thing is to SPEAK UP. Talk to your parents, your family, your friends. If you are in school and you know the perpetrator is someone else at the same school, report it to the school authorities. Personally I would say anyone reading this and going through it, if you need someone to talk to/support in this, my ask box is open.
I’m not trying to be an asshole, I swear. The military has very strict body composition standards that, if not met, will lead to separation. Do you believe people above those standards should be permitted to serve in combat zones? Clearly the military does not, but HAES would lead me to believe that fit servicemembers who exceed the required BF% can still be fit enough to carry out sustained combat missions, carry a full kit, and keep up with everyone. Do you think this is true or that overweight servicemembers pose a risk to themselves and others in their unit in combat? Thanks in advance for an answer, I appreciate you taking the time to address my question!
Why the fuck does it matter what a servicemember looks like if they can do the fucking job?The assumption that fat = unable to do the job even if they can meet every other requirement is fucking stupid and, yes, fat shaming
In addition, the methods the armed forces use to “measure” body fat are massively, vastly inaccurate, and indeed don’t actually measure body fat at all. It’s all of ratios: weight to height, neck circumference to waist circumference, all kinds of shit. It’s nothing to do with body fat.
And, again, the somebody can manage every single requirement, why does their size matter? Yes, some of those requirements include drawling under very low shit, and yeah, having a huge belly is going to cause issues there. That’s not what we’re talking about. We’re talking about keeping people out because their measurements aren’t right even when they pass every other test.
Oh, and the specific measurement and BMI and body fat percent standards? Known to be discriminatory against women.
People keep assuming that fat = unable to do the job, except that there are plenty of recruits who demonstrably can do the job, and are being threatened with getting thrown out for size alone.
Can you grasp the difference?
I want to say first that I am truly blessed and relieved to have recently found this blog. I have been going through a very dark time recently. It seems like everyone has been against me because of my weight. I literally got fired from my job because of it, and only a week before Christmas. Knowing there are people who will accept me for who I am and who understand what I have to deal with is what keeps me going.
The holidays were absolutely terrible for me. My ex-boyfriend sent me a Christmas card with a picture of him and his new (sickly thin) wife, just to rub in the fact that he dumped me. That was horrible, but it wasn’t nearly as bad as receiving a Facebook message from someone I thought was a friend. Here is her letter in full:
(Her boyfriend) and I are doing great, thanks! Sadly, we won’t be having a potluck this year, since we’re going to spend a couple weeks abroad.
As for New Year’s resolutions: I’m going to try being more helpful to people. Actually, if you want, maybe I could get a head start! I’ve been trying something called “Affirmations,” and I think they might do you some good! Since you said you were having some weight problems, I wrote this for you. Try writing it word-for-word every morning, or just print it out and put it someplace where you’ll see it every day:
I am strong.
I am in control.
I can lose weight.
I can be successful.
My dreams are here.
My goals are achievable.
I will NOT hold myself back.
I will NOT ever accept defeat.
I am capable of earning all I want.
I am ready to make a positive change.
I will take every chance to better myself.
I will always aspire to being the best I can be.
I will NOT call myself fat, obese, or anything negative.
I will NOT hide from opportunities, I will NOT be discouraged.
I am GREAT, I am POWERFUL, and I am READY for a new challenge.
I am making my choice, and I am choosing to lose weight. I am prepared!
I hope this helps! Let me know what you think! Also, don’t call yourself “fat” or “overweight” or anything negative. Instead, say you’re curvy, you’re plus-sized and working on it, or you’re a BBW! You don’t need to feel bad if you’re making progress!
(My EX friend.)
I was in utter shock when I read her letter. The hurtful sarcasm, the ignorance, and fat-shaming left me speechless. First of all, I never said my weight was a problem, and I never asked for her “help.” For a few days, I was so angry that I couldn’t even leave the house. Then, someone made a joke about “thin privilege” on Facebook. I had never heard of it, but when I looked it up, I found this site. Before, I would have carried my pain with me and let it consume me. NEVER AGAIN. This blog gave me the strength to realize that I don’t have to put up with having an impossible idea of beauty forced down my throat.
I’ve written my own “affirmations,” and I’m going to send them right back to my ex-friend! Not only that, but I’m going to share them with you, so that EVERYONE can stand up to the ignorant and hurtful people in their lives!
I am FAT.
I am in MYSELF.
I WON’T lose weight.
I am ALREADY successful.
My dreams are bigger than you.
My goals are grander than people’s.
I will NOT accept your insults or criticism.
I will NOT ever change who I know I truly am.
I am DESERVING of EVERYTHING I ever wanted.
I am ready to dismiss you if you ever try to stop me.
I will not let other people define what is better for me.
I will always make my OWN way, and never blame myself.
I will NOT say I’m curvy or plus-sized, I will NOT say I’m a BBW.
I will NOT hide behind euphemisms that were meant to shame me.
I am FAT, I am BEAUTIFUL, and I am PROUD to be HONEST about that.
I am making my choice, and I am CHOOSING TO BE FAT. I am PERFECTION!
THIN PRIVILEGE is looking down on others for their choices.
FAT POWER is being PROUD of my choices, and not being afraid to be HONEST about them! Today, my fat power defeats your thin privilege!
When you book your tickets you should be able to choose your seats on the flight. Pick the seat next to the window and the one in the middle. Sit her by the window and yourself in the middle. That way no one can complain since you’re the one sitting next to her. I highly suggest using the lavatory before getting on the plane as they’re quite small.
There’s also this site http://www.seatguru.com/ When you go to book your tickets use a site like Priceline so, you can see your various flight options. If you see one you like you should be able to click on it to see more. Once you’re on that page it should give the model of the plane you will be flying in. You put the model into seatguru to see how wide the seats are. You want to book a flight on a plane with a seat width closest to 18”.
An alternative to that would be if you have the money to book a second seat South West will now refund you the price of the second seat. However, I haven’t personally done it. I would suggest if you want to go that route to call South West vs booking the flight online.
Seat Guru (http://www.seatguru.com/) is the flying while fat person’s best friend.
You can find the plane you’ll be taking, and get info on:
Seat width and pitch
aspects that can make the seat even more uncomfortable (such as armrests that don’t move or restricted leg room)
the layout of the plane/passenger seats
In some cases the plane might have two seats on each side of the aisle (smaller planes), in which case the person that asked about this and their girlfriend can have that 1/2 row all to themselves and won’t have to worry about other people (I’m assuming if a couple is in a relationship they don’t have problems getting up close and personal).
Another suggestion is to check close to the day of the flight and see if they are offering reduced-fee upgrades to first class. I know US Airways does this; they’ll offer upgrades for unsold first-class seats within the last 24 hours before the flight, sometimes for as little as $50. (Sometimes as high as $500, though, but I think that’s for overseas flights). They do this so those seats don’t stay empty, much like hotels will offer discounts through sites like hotwire and expedia to fill rooms that otherwise would go empty.
Another suggestion that I personally will do is try to get an early or late flight. Usually these are not full and with some maneuvering I can get an empty 1/2 row all to myself. One flight, I had the entire back half of the plane to myself (everyone else was seated up front, not because I was in the back, but because those were the seats they chose before anyone even got to the airport). It was heavenly.
What I personally do about seat belt extenders is:
-I board the plane with the group “that needs a little extra time to board” when they call it.
-I make eye contact with the flight attendant stationed at the door as I board, smile, and say (in a low but clear voice): “When you get a chance, could I have a seat belt extender please? Thank you so much.”
-Sometimes they get so busy they forget, in this case once other passengers are seated, I will make eye contact with the nearest flight attendant and raise my hand, usually that’s all it takes if it’s the same flight attendant.
Unfortunately, you *will* at some point run into snotty flight attendants. When my father passed away a couple of years ago, we had to change my flights and the flights available for when I needed to fly back were crazy full. So we upgraded my tickets to first class to make sure I could fly/wouldn’t get bumped (which has, sadly, happened, not to me, but to other people, see: Kevin Smith). The first flight was nice, but the other flight, when the rest of the first class passengers were offered the snack basket, the flight attendant (a male, I might add) didn’t offer it to me at all. Of course I had saved the crackers from the previous flight in my purse, so I pulled those out and ate them with obvious relish while staring the flight attendant in the eye. (This is because I’m belligerent in certain situations, but also because I have issues where if my blood sugar gets too low it triggers a migraine, and boy howdy is 20,000 feet up *not* the best place to experience a migraine.)
I have also purchased (non-alcoholic) drinks for seat-mates in an effort to make nice. YMMV.
Congratulations on your upcoming nuptials! :)
My advice is to first familiarize yourself with your airlines’ “passenger of size” policy. They tend to stick these policies in the FAQ, and sometimes put them under a “special needs” section.
Now, what I’ve heard and experienced: Southwest is the worst by far when it comes to arbitrary and frequent application of the “passenger of size” policy. It’s a very affordable airline in the States (comparatively), so if you find yourself interested in taking Southwest then I suggest 1. bringing your own extender if possible, 2. buying an extra seat and getting into the earliest boarding class affordable; 3. buying when the flight is not going to be oversold, that is, so you can get the cost of the third seat reimbursed.
Flying any other airline, I’d say that it might be okay to take a chance that if you fly at non-peak times (my suggestion is to call the airline and ask when the non-peak times are) you will be able to not be disturbed. Also, picking an airline with no “passenger of size” policy might be the best, if possible.
Finally, check out these other suggestions by my fellow rad activists:
- “Fat People On a Plane" (Stacy Bias)
- “Death Fats With Wings: 10 Tips For Flying at 300 Pounds" (Marianne Kirby)
- “Flying While 400lbs" (Living@400lbs)
- It’s That Time of the Year Again! (Time to feel terrible flying while fat) (Larissa Nash)
If someone says anything bad to you, or if you get harassed by the flight attendants: If they have a passenger of size policy, ask for evidence that this policy is applied to every passenger of size, all the time, and that yours isn’t an arbitrary case. Ask your flight be refunded and you be given a free ticket/upgrade on the next flight. Write your experience down, every word and every detail. Write a letter to the airline that you had a bad experience and will never fly with them again unless they change their policy so that it’s at least 1. non-arbitrary, 2. easily-measurable. Send us your experience and we will publish it.
It’s not your fault you don’t fit in the seats: seat size/passenger space have been shrinking consistently as people have been getting bigger.
Anyone else have suggestions?
(for more on my commentary relating to thin privilege/fat discrimination and flying, see: “Flying While Thin Privileged”)
Does glorifying Before and After pictures of weight-loss play into fat-shaming? A friend of mine posts a lot of these pictures of people she doesn’t know, and that bothers me and I believe that it does play into fat-shaming and want to properly call that out. But I do have thin privilege, so I want to make sure that I’m not viewing this with the skew of my privilege. I’ve tried to find resources to answer this, but I mostly just come up with pages of more fat-shaming bullshit. I would appreciate any incite you could offer, if you decide to. Thank you.
Yes. I wrote a post about before and after photos around this time last year on my blog (Here is a link to an extended response). In short, before and after photos not only shame before bodies but also give meaning to after bodies, that they are laboring or hard working and valued more than the before bodies. This conforms to the standard notion that fat bodies are not laboring and / or work hard. That they are really the result of mismanaged care. So yes, before / after photos are often a prime example of fat shaming and how we congratulate people over how much better the “after” body is really cements this.
No one here is a troll. No, I am not one, you are not one, no one is a troll.
Not OF COURSE it isn’t trolling to come round a fat blog and say shitty things about fat people and shitty things to the mods! NOOOOOOOOOO.
You just keep telling yourself that.
Well, I guess some people live life differently, but I prefer to live life happily AND healthily
But can you really be happy if you are such a condescending asshole?
So many questions, so few fucks to give…
I just saw the post about leggings, and so I thought I’d share information about the tights I just bought. I’m 5’3, 260 lbs. and I have a huge belly and huge thighs/bottom. Finding tights in a store is a nightmare for me, because I inevitably bring them home and they don’t fit (even when the size chart says they are supposed to). I went to a wedding yesterday and my dress required tights/leggings/something underneath, so I thought I’d try some of the online places that sell plus size clothing (on a post a while back). I thought I’d try OneHanesPlace, and after reading a lot of the reviews I chose the JMS Silky Tights size 4X (black), and they worked wonderfully. They are long in the leg for a short person like me, but they fit over my thighs, bottom, and over my belly. I pulled them up beyond the natural waistline, but that’s exactly what I wanted to do, and I had no issues with rollover. I wore these tights all day, and they did not run or tear (except a small hole in the bottom of the foot, but that was from dancing without my shoes). These are an excellent choice, and VERY inexpensive for 4 pairs of tights. I plan to wear mine every time I wear a dress. And because they are so long in the leg, they would work very well for tall people too. I got I hope this helps anyone looking for tights.
Hi everyone. I just read the post on the Lane Bryant leggings and I thought I would share my favorite type of leggings. The brand name is Lysse. There are a few crappy things. Most of the leggings only go to a size 16/18, but some of them go to size 26/28. Also they name the top “tummy control”, but the leggings just have a thicker, slightly tighter part that goes up to your natural waist. I like this feature because it prevents the leggings from slipping or rolling down. Also the fabric is thick enough that it will not show your underwear through (if that is a concern) but not so thick that they get hot. The fabric is supportive and prevents jiggling (nothing wrong with jiggling, I just find it painful when I run).
Anyways not perfect but it’s an option for some. I hope this helps someone.
In this way, we make it less about thin people and more about PoS.
"Shouldn’t this site be called ‘fat discrimination’ instead of ‘this is thin privilege’?"
The reason This is Thin Privilege isn’t a blog about fat discrimination is because most people don’t give a shit about fat discrimination. It doesn’t affect them, so they don’t fucking care. They hear there’s something called ‘fat acceptance,’ feel appalled at the idea that anyone could ‘glorify obesity,’ and that’s their sum total opinion on the matter. Informed by ignorance, ending in ignorance.
Talking about thin privilege stirs up the whole pot. Fat people know we’re discriminated against, so it can get fucking depressing/boring to talk about it all the time, especially amongst ourselves. But talking about thin privilege gets fat people angry. Because it reminds us that the oppression we face is structural. That this isn’t just our individual problems on any particular day. It reminds us how we WOULD be treated if there wasn’t fat oppression, how we DESERVE to be treated in the absence of fat oppression. Talking about thin privilege places how fat and thin people are treated in the sharp contrast it deserves.
There’s something that happens to you when you’re discriminated against fucking constantly. You kind of get used to it. It might sting, it might chill, but it starts getting so that you can’t imagine what it would be like without those stings and chills. Talking about thin privilege reminds the oppressed of their just deserts (in a just society).
From the perspective of the privileged, checking their privilege makes them realize how much they take certain things for granted. That some other people don’t have access to what they assume is every person’s due, and that they never even REALIZED it. Like being born it’s uncomfortable at first, but hell, it’s much better than staying it the womb. Good allies WANT to understand, to learn, to see their reality clearly. -ArteToLife
Seriously, people, try checking the FAQ (that’s Frequently Asked Questions, since we just had someone complain that there was no link labeled FAQ).