This is Thin Privilege

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I just realized that whenever people ask me why I’m vegan/vegetarian (I used to be full vegan but I eat eggs now), very often they also ask if it’s for health reasons, without waiting for my answer.  At first I barely noticed it; then I was like “huh that’s weird people keep asking if it’s for health reasons and nobody ever asks if it’s for animal rights;” now I’m beginning to think people are assuming it’s for health reasons because why else would I be a fat vegetarian? Or they think fat people only make food decisions based on losing weight and not like, ethical concerns or anything.  

I also am not sure how to respond, if this really is because people are trying to reconcile the existence of fat non-dairy vegetarians—I’ve been saying that no, it’s for ethical reasons, but now that I’m realizing this is probably a microaggression I kind of want to point that out without actually being like “NOT ALL VEGANS/VEGETARIANS ARE TINY OK AND FAT PEOPLE CAN BE HEALTHY!” Just because often this question is coming from people I’m meeting for the first time, who are well-meaning and completely unaware of how offensive/prejudiced that question is.  It’s also tricky because I feel like I have to counter fat stereotypes in addition to vegan stereotypes (vegans are militant, judgmental extremists, etc). 

Have any other fat vegans/vegetarians had that experience?  Am I being paranoid? Or is this just another instance where “health reasons” is code for “to lose weight?”  And if you’ve had that experience, how do you handle it? Do you try to draw attention to that assumption? Do you let it go?  Are you incredibly frustrated about people acting like fat vegans/vegetarians don’t exist and want to vent? This happened to me last weekend and now that I’m realizing there’s a pattern this (and how I’m not supposed to exist in general) is bothering me.

thefingerfuckingfemalefury:

gazzymouse:

beckpoppins:

meganhilty:

Anastasia

Favorite Characters - Vladimir & Sophie

god Sophia had a double chin and bingo wings and a booty like a shelf and she was still hot as fuck. and Anastasia was hot. and the empress was hot. All the ladies were pretty but totally different sizes and ages and things were wonderful.

Sophie wasn’t just on screen to be fat and funny. She was depicted as actually DESIRABLE. I was a little stick of a child when this movie came out and that definitely effected my views of beauty. As a much thicker adult it still means a lot to me now.

^ SO MUCH THIS

It made me SO happy to see a lady who wasn’t super skinny still being portrayed as being sexy and desirable…

We need more movies like this…with characters like this, who aren’t just treated like walking punchlines because of their bodies…

[TW: ED]

Thin privilege is being taken seriously at the doctor’s office after developing bulimia. 

At the age of sixteen, I was considered to be of average size(5’9, 185 lbs, size 12; technically overweight according to the BMI scale, which is flawed to begin with). At a check-up with my general doctor, my mother told her about how I had developed bulimia; she proceeded to advise me to change my diet and suggested that I try loosing weight in a healthy way. Never once did she take my ED seriously, simply because I wasn’t thin. You don’t have to be a doctor to know that bulimia affects men and women of all sizes. Long story short, several months went by; I lost a significant amount of weight and was diagnosed with anorexia by the same doctor who completely minimized my ED months prior.

Thin Privilege is being included in clothing sales

Today I received an email from a clothing company from which I frequently purchase. The email advertised a time-limited sale, offering a discount on clothing items that are from the company’s own brand (the store also carries some clothing items from other brands). When I went to the site, however, I found that, while most/all of the company’s regular-size items were available at the discounted price, none of the plus-size items were. (And I have only ever bought plus-size items from the in the past.)

Thin privilege is assuming that your clothing sizes are included when an advertisement suggests the presence of an across-the-board discount.

Dancing again!

This is a healthism story with a fortunately happy ending. 

I’ve always been big, but over the past few years, pain has taken over my life and I’ve gotten even fatter.  A very large fat.

Every doctor I’d been to had been dismissive about my pain, and especially of the pain in my feet.  ”It’ll get better if you lose weight” is probably the most common result of a doctors visit for me.  ”How can I exercise when I hurt so much and feel so awful?” seems to puzzle doctors.  

I finally fired my GP last year, although it costs more to use anything but the clinic at my workplace, my new nurse practitioner is worth every penny to me. I finally got up the courage to ask about the pain after she’d been seeing me for more concrete things for a few months and she listened!  Last month, I got a referral to another rheumatologist and, guess what, I’ve had some kind of inflammatory arthritis for the past 5 years!  

I’ve been on prednisone now for about a week and, even though I’ve got bronchitis, I can’t help but to get up and dance around every so often on my feet that look like feet instead of swollen pink blobs.  I can walk to the bathroom without crying in agony! My hands also look more like what I remember with fingers instead of sausages and I can see my knuckles and open bottles, etc.!

I’m so happy, but I’m also angry at my old doctor for blaming everything on my weight and causing so much suffering.  I’ve still got plantar fasciitis and that probably is my weight, but it really doesn’t bother me much compared to whatever else was going on in my foot joints.  

I’ll go back next week for my official diagnoses, but all it took to make me feel better was this common drug.  They also tested me for some other common things and found out I was anemic and low vitamin D. 

This blog was the thing that gave me the energy to switch doctors, the courage to bring it up again with my new nurse practitioner and the confidence to feel that I deserved to be helped despite what others thought about my weight.  Thank you and this goofy nerd dance is for everyone else who shared stories about their doctors!

fatbodypolitics:

tierracita:

Click here to support Help Three QTPOC Fatties get to the AMC! by Cory Briana

Dear community of friends, family, and supporters.

We are three queer fatties of color and this will be our first time attending the Allied Media Conference. We really need your support getting there! 

The Allied Media Conference is in Detroit, Michigan June 19th-22nd. Our workshop was accepted and we are excited to present as part of theAbundant Bodies track! We have not been in any way able to afford this conference in the past and it’s prevented us from even applying but this year we took a leap of faith and submitted a workshop proposal. Now that we have been accepted we want to make sure this dream opportunity becomes a reality.

The cost for the three of us to attend is pretty immense, especially considering our limited and different economic resources. We anticipated being able to cover a portion of the cost but we will need your help to get all three of us there. We hope that our vibrant community of fatties, QTPOC, friends and family will help us make this trip possible. 

We need help covering the following costs:

Plane tickets $1800 (flights from Portland to Detroit are ~650 and flights from Salt Lake City are ~$550)
Housing $500 (we found an airbnb across the street from the university that would allow us to room together and cook meals to save money)
Transportation/taxis $100
Registration $150 (we were awarded an additional $150 from AMC to use towards registration but we would like to contribute more to the conference beyond that amount)

Trip Total 2550 + ~150 for indiegogo fees

Grand total 2700

Anything we raise here above and beyond this amount will go towards food and supplies for our workshop and our rewards offered here. 

If you can’t donate (and we totally understand that many folks won’t be able to), we hope that you will still support us by spreading the word or consider donating items/skills that we can add to our rewards offered.

We do this work to leave evidence of ourselves, those of us who are simultaneously unseen and hypervisible in our queer, fat, brown bodies. Please help us in doing this work!

Thank you! 

Cory, Jess, and Esther 

(read more about us and our workshop at the link!)

Please support and share this campaign so they can get to the Allied Media Conference!

I was referred to a rheumatologist for a genetic condition, and when I arrived at my appointment the receptionist barely glanced at my chart and told me to go sit in waiting area C.  I went over and sat in the seating area she told me, and sat right under a sign that said “Dietician.”

Five minutes later a nurse came over from waiting area A and said, “There you are. Your doctor is over by waiting area A,” and showed me to the doctor’s office for my appointment.

The receptionist had taken one glance at me and assumed that I was there for the dietician, never even considering that I might be there for some reason other than losing weight.

Whee! More trolls!


Oh golly gee gosh, I post about a troll and some more jump on the bandwagon.


*sparkle* 8D *sparkle* <--we remember what this means, yes? Good!

Let's take these from the least offensive to the most, shall we? Fair warning to anyone who'd rather scroll past this:
we've got more tone policing, fake concern, but-what-about-the-chillllldrennnnn, and somebody would like me to die.

anonymous:
Saw your TiTP (and your response to a troll). I'm sorry that this happened to you and that the saleswoman was harsh. As a recent bride, I was also directed to the shapewear section of the lingerie store and I am a size 0. The reason I bring this up is because often times the wedding dress needs smooth lines from the lingerie not being lacy and needs proper support, particularly if you are going strapless. I really do mean well, but I must go anon because my blog is not personal at all.

melredcap:
*shrug* Well, if you hadn't gone anon and had asked me to reply privately I would've. Given that the saleswoman had asked no questions at all about what my dress looked like or needed in the way of underpinnings, and she was - I repeat from my last post - MIMING FAT ROLLS AT ME - I rather think that if I had been a thin size she would have helped me find all the lacy frilly sexy undies I wanted.

anonymous:
Hello. Before anything else, let me just say that I am not a troll, and I am genuinely curious. After coming across a post with some pretty heavy fat-shaming and being raised in a society that valued thin bodies, I decided I wanted to hear the other side of the argument. Among other things (but this first), I would just like to understand why bigger women think being big is healthy, when there are statistics showing otherwise. I apologize if anything I offended you, and I hope nothing did.

melredcap:
Hmmm, anonymous, starts out with "I'M NOT A TROLL", asks a question that could have been answered with a few seconds and one click on the page they presumably found me from, asks a question phrased to 'subtly' show that they're already right, mentions ~STATISTICS~ supposedly supporting their position without actually citing or linking to any, annnnnd finishes with a nonapology. If it quacks like a troll and anons like a troll... hi, troll. For anyone else who is HONESTLY thinking "but the media keeps telling me it's unhealthy to be fat" and is too POLITE to ask a fat woman instead of doing a little research themselves, allow me to direct you to http://thisisthinprivilege.tumblr.com/faq#whatabouthealth

sciencefitness:
Hi, I was just wondering if you know that "shaming" doesnt exist? Nobody can make you feel ashamed about something you are ok/proud of. They can remind you of something you are already ashamed of but thats not shaming since you were ashamed of it in the first place. Greetings, sciencefittness.

melredcap:
Wow, that's a lot of pics of nude women and Game of Thrones posts for a blog supposedly dedicated to 'bullshit-bashing'. Huh. Okay then. And no, 'shaming' does exist. Society tells everyone from babies on that FAT IS BAD, and when you grow up marinating in that it's pretty damn hard not to absorb some. Even if you do manage to reach adulthood without that horrible self-hate and fear that everyone sees you as disgusting - about a million topics, not just fat - if someone tells you you're disgusting and you don't accept it, it's still shaming even though it didn't work.

anonymous:
Your collarbones are supposed to show. So if at the time you were "skinny fat" (what the fuck does that even mean, if you're fat, you're fat) does that mean that now you are super whale fat?

melredcap:
If you're referring to me saying that the saleswoman's collarbones and wrists were 'prominent', I didn't mean that they just showed - mine show just fine too, honey - I mean that they stuck out pretty far, in a "you can't tell the state of someone's health just by looking BUT..." sort of way. Also, what is it with trolls and bad reading comprehension? I said I was a 'small fat', not 'skinny fat'. That means that although I was overweight according to society's measurements and BMI, I was still small enough to get a lot of thin privilege as compared to fatter people. And I already said what size I am now - wow, you didn't read my post much at all, did you? - I'm bangin'. (For your information, that means AWESOME.)

anonymous:
Hi. Sorry, but calling a thin person a twig isn't that cool, and we both know that is what you meant when you wrote that you were 'wider than a twig'. It's just not cool, so therefore, that other anon called you out on it. Maybe you're not body+ and don't care about that by 'giving no fucks'. You can call me a troll and tell me to 'fk off and die' to make MG proud, but truth still stands that twig is a derogatory term for someone thin, and your use of it was not cool.

anonymous:
Plus, I'm just telling you that because to might help you be a better person, more body+ and create a more better community for all of us. I hope you're having a lovely day. Oh, and hope that your wedding was/will be wonderful! :)

melredcap:
Whee! Tone policing! Fake concern! Oh my god, saying the word 'twig' in a fat-positive space is totally skinny shaming! Call the Internet police! I am body positive, anon dear, that's WHY I give no fucks. Thank you for the (probably included to make you sound more legitimate) nice words at the end of your (tone policing trollish) message! My wedding rocked! I shall not tell you to die, because only asshole trolls do that! Now fuck off, that'll create a 'more better' community. *sparkle* 8D *sparkle*

anonymous:
there are children dying all over the world and somehow you still find the time to bitch about a woman directing you towards something you didn't want in a store. hon, WELCOME TO RETAIL. hahahahahahahhaahahah oh my god what a joke. oh, darling, please take your head out of your cellulite filled ass and grow up. youre a victimizing cunt and the world would be a better place without you. again... hahahahahahahahahahahahhahahhaa you're a JOKE (another disgusted anon just for you)

melredcap:
There are children dying all over the world and somehow you still find the time to write vicious anon messages to a fat woman who dares to complain about someone being rude to her? I post a grumpy submission to an online blog and that makes me a 'victimising cunt' who deserves to die? Meanwhile you're... ah... what is it you're doing again? Oh, yes, you're somehow championing the cause of dying children everywhere by sitting at your computer typing shit that you don't even dare put your name to, you cowardly fuck. Why does the idea that fat people might want to be treated politely threaten you so much (there in your little troll mind palace lit by the light of your computer screen and your own glowing bile) that you have to try to pummel us back down into what you think of as our place?


*sparkle* 8D *sparkle* <--it's not working, sorry. ;)

A question (sorry to submit, but I don’t have tumblr)

I have a friend who is engaged and gay. She and her partner were discussing children and the prospect of a child’s future as a gay/straight adult. Although she would of course accept and love her child regardless, she hoped for a straight child so they would not endure the ridicule, heartache, and oppression that she has faced as a fat-bodied gay woman. This is more of a question for the mods (or whoever wants to answer really) if you were to have children, would you wish them to be fat or straight-sized? I know ideally we would live in a world where fat people are not oppressed, but if you had to have a child with thin privilege or one who is adorable and fat yet ridiculed, what would you choose? I think this is worth considering in the current social climate, gay parents wonder if their child will be gay, biracial parents wonder what “race” their child will identify with, what do fat parents think?

——————

I wish for a world that doesn’t oppress gay kids/adults and privilege straight kids/adults, where passing for white doesn’t convey privilege, where random strangers don’t sit next to my white cousin in a clinic and berate her for marrying and having children with a black man (happened to her last week), or where being fat in a public school means you’ve got a good chance of being physically and emotionally abused by your peers and teachers, etc.

While I understand the compulsion to want your children to pass for a member of a privileged group because it will be easier for them, hoping that they will pass sets you up for disappointment if they don’t, when really, the child has absolutely no control over the social soup they’re born into. 

Instead of saying, “I hope you pass,” I’d prefer to say, “I’ll brave all the slings and arrows of the world to love you.”

In my particular case, if I were to have a fat child I would do my best to not send that child to a public school, because public schools are incredibly toxic for fat kids at present. It would take me having the means to have them schooled alternatively, where I could monitor the messages my child is getting, whether they’re being bullied, etc. Not everyone has these means. I’m only speaking for my particular (childless and not planning to have children) situation. 

I might be naive. But that’s my take with the information I have at this present moment.

-ArteToLife

I have a fifteen year old cousin who I have met twice and weighs ~300 pounds.  She’s a distant cousin that lives on the other side of the country so we don’t hear much about her.  But since she has gained whatever weight all I hear about her is that she weighs 300 lbs, and I can’t stand it because she is a lovely, wonderful person who is much more than how much she weighs.  

She recently got a gastric bypass surgery at fifteen.  A major surgery that changes how your body works for the rest of your life and can cause all sorts of problems.  And she did have problems.  She got post-op pneumonia and the surgeon messed up and nicked her colon and she’s been in the hospital for at least a few weeks.  

Being a teenager is hard, and being a fat teenager is even harder.  I was a fat teenager and now I am a fat twenty-something and my weight is personal, and when I was younger it was even more personal and something I found humiliating—and if my family talked behind my back about my weight I would be even more humiliated.  I remember being told that if I gained X more pounds I would be morbidly obese.  I thought that meant if I gained any weight I would die.  

If my cousin is anything like I was, she hates herself, she’s ashamed of being fat, ashamed of “needing” the surgery, ashamed of getting the surgery, and ashamed that people know about it and talk about it.  And she’s also ill-informed and thinks she’s going to die.  And that just feels awful especially combined with surgical recovery, post-op complications, and being stuck in a hospital bed.

I can’t imagine the pressures she felt to get this surgery from family, from friends, from doctors—something I’m sure she was told would “fix’ her so she could finally fit in.  I don’t know how much the surgery was her idea or how much she felt like she needed to get it to fit inI can’t imagine how she feels or felt before because all I’ve heard about her is that she’s fat.

No one else in her immediate family is fat and I’m sure that makes her fatness stand out more and makes her parents push harder for her to be thin.  And now my whole family is talking about her and her fat and her bad surgery and my grandparents keep talking about how they hope that the surgery will help her lose weight.  Like if she loses weight, this horrible experience will be erased or not matter.  Like she isn’t in pain and isn’t miserable and isn’t human.  Like she’s fat and once she gets that over with she can have feelings again and be treated like a person again.  

Fiction: (from Mean Girls) Thin Privilege is shopping where you want

The post below is based on the movie “Mean Girls”

Thin privilege is being able to shop where you want, and not be mocked by the [thin] shop attendants in front of 3 of your best friends

It was a week before prom and I was doing the final try on for the most gorgeous dress. It was one I’d had my eye on for months - a beautiful peach silk dress with a stunning black belt. It perfectly suited my skin and my hair, and my friends agreed it was perfect.

Unfortunately a while back I broke up with my long term boyfriend. I was devastated, and gained a fair amount of weight as a result. I wasn’t thrilled, but I wasn’t starving myself, unhappy or putting my body through pain so I didn’t mind. I was happy with my body and this dress was absolutely sublime.

This meant that the dress didn’t fit me. I was mortified and totally put on the spot in front of my friends. When asked if there was a bigger size available, the shop attendant sneered at us and before she walked away told us to “try sears”. Excuse me? This was for prom, the biggest night this side of college and you don’t go to any effort to help me, and just palm me off to a lower class store because that’s all I deserve?

Thin privilege is being able to get flattering dresses in your size

Thin privilege is being treated with respect by shop assistants

Thin privilege is being able to shop anywhere and not relegated to “cheap” stores

I ended up starving myself to fit in the dress. It was awful and painful, and while it made me look like a rockstar, it was an awful, painful experience

Thank you to the troll for finding this story from the movie mean girls. Ya’ll are boring but we appreciate you giving us submissions that relate to real things people go through due to fat stigma. -FBP

I have to dress formally for casual situations due to my weight… Or else, I’m crow food!

Like a lot of girls, I spend a good amount of my prep time in the morning putting on makeup and doing my hair. Making sure my clothes “Flatter me correctly”. Making sure my hair and makeup is “Perfect”. I HATE doing this, but I have to. I have to make sure that I’m “socially acceptable”.

And every morning, my fiance’, the man who thinks I’m beautiful no matter WHAT just stares on in total and utter confusion.
"Why are you putting on makeup? We’re just going to the store"
I simply reply;
"I honestly don’t feel like getting into a fight. I don’t feel like provoking superficial assholes. Today, I’d like to AVOID the trolls, thank you".

Why? Because me leaving the house without makeup starts FIGHTS. People yell at me, tell me to kill myself, and even try to beat me up just because of my size. People are openly rude to me, and if I’m not having the best of days, *I* could end up retaliating, which you know would result in jail time and having to go to a court that’s NOT ruling in my favor.

I have to ignore the fact that the only person I need to impress is already impressed regardless of my weight, what I wear, or ANYTHING. He thinks I’m beautiful because he loves me, and I’m forced to completely ignore that FOR MY OWN SAFETY (And his freedom, since he’s willing to start a fist fight with any man who trash talks me).
Not to mention, I, too, think I’m pretty… But I’ve been fat shamed and bullied to the point where I simply say;
"You gotta turn them on to survive out there".
Which should NOT be true; but it is. I think I look just fine without the makeup or the “fashionable” clothes, but without dressing up, I’m treated like shit. The shirt I wear can determine whether or not I’m verbally or psychically abused, and even then, it doesn’t always help. At best, when I try my best, I get a “At least she tries”. Like, they feel sorry for the fact that NO MATTER WHAT I DO, I’ll NEVER be “Beautiful” DESPITE THE FACT THAT I *KNOW* I ALREADY AM.



Thin privilege is being ALLOWED by society to leave your house to a casual situation without having to dress up to hide your “flaws”. You can leave without makeup and still be considered attractive, even if you’re currently undergoing an acne breakout. Oh, and you can wear whatever the heck you want, too.

Thin privilege is not having an every day fear that somebody will verbally and/or psychically abuse you due to your looks. Thin privilege is being able to feel safe because you KNOW you’re not a target to trolls, bullies, and bigots. You can COUNT on everyone being nice to you. Meanwhile, girls like me really have to just pray we don’t run into the wrong person.

Thin privilege is knowing that you’re beautiful, and having the world respect your self esteem (Or tell you you’re beautiful if you DON’T have that self-esteem). But girls like me aren’t allowed to love ourselves because we’re NOT “Beautiful”, and thus LOVABLE to everyone else. We have to try hard to impress people, anyway, even if we don’t want to. Even if we know our worth. Even if we don’t NEED their validation in our own minds, we still need their validation just to live a “Normal” LIFE and to get the basic respect we ALL deserve!



Girls with thin privilege wear makeup to stand out and receive attention.
But I? I wear makeup to fit in, and to NOT receive ANY attention.


Sorry for being anonymous but I’m afraid somebody might know I submitted this. :( Sorry for being a weak fatty.. (you guys rock!)

Thin privilege is having your boyfriend threat you with break up. I’m in tears while writing this I seriously don’t know what to do. My bf just told me that unless I “start taking some serious steps toward losing some weight!” he will have to reconsider our relationship. This took place in a lovely up-scale restaurant while we were having our 3 year anniversary dinner! I was fully expecting him to propose to me,  but in stead he started to talk about my weight. I was 140 lbs when we started dating and I have gained a lot since then. I just don’t understand how he can blame me for something like this when he KNOWS that I haven’t changed my eating habits one bit during the time we’ve dated. I tried to explain that my body simply feels more comfortable at 220 lbs and that many of the women in my family have gained around my age a lot of weight. but no… He said that he doesn’t want a fat bride so he won’t propose until I’m “small enough”.

My world has literally shattered.  

Mod comment:

Ouch. I’m so sorry, Anon. Huge is you want them.

Dump him. Dump him a lot. He will never stop hating your body, even if you were one of the people long-term weight loss worked for, and you dropped it all. He would police your body for the rest of your life. DUMP HIM.

-MG

Is it fatphobic to believe that the body represents the mind?

Asked by
thetemperature

It is fatphobic to attach moral or ethical value to size, which it sounds like you’re probably doing if you feel the need to ask us this. It is healthist to attach moral or ethical value to ability or disability, to “physical fitness” or lack thereof, to “health” in any way you define it. It is bigoted and wrong to think that any particular physical characteristic demonstrates some particular mental or emotional attribute. It will always be factually incorrect, because there will always be many many people who have the physical characteristic but not the mental/emotional one and vice versa. If you want a good example of the absurdity of thinking that physical characteristics indicate mental ones, go read up on phrenology.

-MG