My grandmother passed away. I did not want to go to her funeral because I knew I’d have to see the sheeples called “family members”. I was manipulated into going despite my wishes.
They’re the same as they ever were. Stingy. Complaining. Cheapskates. Greedy. Passive aggressive. Self-absorbed. Sheep people.
Of course, my mother had to mention weight loss—who didn’t lose weight, and who gained weight—at least fifty times, despite being told on two separate occasions by one of her sisters and one of her brothers to shut up about it. My uncle, stingiest of them all, went on about some Mediterranean diet he’s on while nearly making us miss our flight to the airport because he was driving around in circles.
See what subliminal messaging/ads do to your mind? Living in a society where millions are spent to manipulate the unlearned masses and twist their perception and values is commonplace is sickening.
These people suck up what they see on TV, on the radio, in bookstores, in ads, on prime time and they believe it. They don’t think for themselves, like most people. They don’t question it, they don’t go “Wow this seems be a thing, not very healthy at all actually, why is it?”. I’m ashamed to be related to them. They prattle on about it without even trying to.
I’ll be damned if I’ll be forty-seven years old and still thinking that losing weight is magically going to solve all my problems, so twisted up in shaving pounds that I don’t even realize what I’m saying and what I’m doing.
Its about health, they say. You’ll thank us later, they say. Its about health, really?
I’ll say it again.
I am the fattest person in my immediate family. And guess what? I don’t have sickle cell, diabetes, a benign brain tumor (though I’m surprised with all the crap I deal with), high blood pressure, neuropathy, or multiple sclerosis. All of which are things the thinner people in my family have. Who’s to say? I might get those things later.
And so what? Screw people who think I’ll become less of a person somehow if I do or if I did. They can kiss my fat Black ass.
*disgusted sigh* I’m going back to the writing I enjoy. Later.
How often have you been shopping and you come across something that is just PERFECT, but does not go up to your size? Over 60% of American women wear a size 14 or above, but only 17% of clothing sold is 14 & up. That is a ridiculous disparity.
Moreover, when some brands move into plus (ahem H&M), they throw their signature trendy looks by the wayside in favor of flowy dark fabrics that they think “work” for plus sizes. That is crap. Plus size women want color, print, and structure. Moreover, we want variety. A group this numerous cannot be a monolith, and since style is such a personal thing, we all have different tastes. I want #plussizeplease to be a way to showcase the demand for styles we’d buy and rock, and all the money brands are forfeiting by refusing to expand their sizes.
So here’s how to use it:
1) Snap a picture of a garment you love but does not come in your size. Include the brand and price, tagging the company if possible. For example, I am in love with this Zara marble print dress. I would have purchased it yesterday if it went above a size L. My tweet would be:
“.@Zara marble print sheath, $59. I’d buy it right now if it came in my size. #plussizeplease”
2) Use it on any social media – Twitter, Instagram, Tumblr, Pinterest… even Facebook supports hashtags now.
3) Tag anything you’d purchase, whether in store or online.
4) Feel free to include the size range it comes in and/or the size you think you’d need. Sizing can be tricky, so this is definitely not required.
5) Tell your friends! I don’t just want this to be a blogger thing – I want all women who wear size 14 and up to show their purchasing power and share styles they love. Let’s be unignorable!
Um, yes. I will be doing this.
Yes. I support this movement
watch me be loud as hell
Isn’t your partner’s families first words when they hear your nationality ”Oh, is she fat?”.
Yes I AM fat. Thank you for asking, want to know about my countries culture? The people? The history? About me personally? About my work?
Oh no, you just want to hear about my weight?
Thats okay then.
YES, THANK YOU FUTURE MOTHER IN LAW FOR NOTICING I AM FAT HOW ASTUTE OF YOU TO NOTICE!
It’s worrying that you care more about my weight, than you do my personality or temperament.
Thin privilege is getting to eat at your favorite restaurant without seeing posters pitted against you. (Fat discrimination tw, body policing tw)
The other day I was at Nando’s, my absolute favorite place to eat. I had not been to this particular location before. While my family and I were waiting for our food to come, I was looking around the room from my seat. One thing I saw was a poster that said: “If you’re shaped like an apple or pear, eat apples and pears.”
Oh, of course. How dare fat people want to eat anything besides fruit and vegetables and ‘safe’ food? I mean, why wouldn’t we? We all should want to lose weight, after all, right?
When I was in college I had to do a major paper on any topic I wished. Of all the topics available I picked weight bias in the healthcare industry.
My paper and my research were impeccable. In fact I got an award for most thought provoking paper and classmates complimented me extensively.
The only reason this happened is because I’m a Damn toothpick. The only reason my paper and presentation were well received was because I’m small.
But I wrote the paper and did the presentation because of my husband. Because he weighed over 300 pounds. I wrote the paper because his self confidence is awful. I wrote the paper because his Damn boss made fun of his weight. I did the paper and presentation because he is the best thing that’s ever happened to me.
He’s fantastic at his job. Received over 5 merit raises. He knows his department, he knows his employees. His area only runs at max efficiency because of him.
His boss has no right. People have no right to make blanket misstatements about a person based on their weight.
Thanks for this. I hope to one day convince my husband to not be ashamed of himself. I know this blog helps me toward that goal.
Thin privilege is doing a research paper on weight bias and being taken seriously.
Hi! I saw the post on J. K. Rowling and how she feels about fat people, and since you haven’t read Harry Potter, I thought it might be a good idea to bring up some links that talk about it a bit more in-depth. My friend did a review of the early chapters of Harry Potter (linked above) which has a good discussion of how often fatness = bad in HP. This link also talks about it a bit: http://bugchat.tumblr.com/post/78486464108/casual-reminder-that-harry-potter-had-a-lot-of and this link talks about it specifically in relation to the Dursleys: http://kataphatic.wordpress.com/2009/08/25/dudley-dursley-and-the-over-indulged-fat-child-straw-man/
Superthin person here (size 0 or 00) and I don’t personally feel an obligation to be healthy, but many people tell me I should. I experience food policing both ways - those who tell me I need to eat more and those who tell me they don’t want to see me eat to much and “lose my figure.” My thinness is completely genetic as I have a very fast metabolism and need to eat nearly 2500 calories per day in order to not lose weight. However, people (I would say predominantly straight cis men) try to tell me not to eat too much under the assumption (I suppose) that I must be on a diet/starving myself to stay so small and it is somehow their job to keep me that way.
I met my boyfriend in 2013 in the beginning of the year. At the time, although I was still large, I had lost some weight before I met him, so my partner had never seen me at my heaviest. I gained the weight back during the time we have been together. I was very sad about this but it did not change his feelings nor the dynamics of our relationship. Actually he told me that what I wanted to do with my body was my business and he loved me and found me beautiful regardless.
Well today, I was showing a coworker, who I really respected, my family photos and then I came across a picture from when I had weighed less. He looked and said to me “Oh, so that’s what attracted your guy.”
I replied with “My boyfriend is still very attracted to me.”
He kind of smirked and said “That’s good” but it was with a sarcastic tone.
It really hurt my feelings because I felt as if he were saying that I wasn’t worthy of my boyfriend as I was. He is white, tall, and thin and so me being a person of color, short, and large I know we are quite different from each other but I never felt bad about it. However, the rest of the day I felt sad and questioned myself a lot.
Thin privilege is being spoiled by everyone around you no matter how bad your attitude is. My cousin is thin and she has everyone (‘cept me and my Grammy) asking ‘How high?’ when she says ‘Jump’. And they continue to do it even though she treats everyone like dirt. She demands to be driven everywhere no matter the inconvenience and never pays for gas. Yet she’ll bitch if anyone else does the same. She never lifts a finger to help anyone and never contributes to anything that everyone else has to chip in for. But because she’s thin and ‘pretty’ (not) everyone acts like she’s a little queen while her siblings get no such treatment.
[TW: eating disorders, weight loss talk]
I’ve lost a significant amount of weight recently due to an eating disorder. In the past few weeks, when it’s become the most noticeable, I have had three co-workers who I am not particularly close with ask me the following questions and make the following comments: “Have you been working out?” “Have you lost weight?” “You’ve gotten so much thinner! What’s your secret?” It’s super uncomfortable, because I know that they’re trying to be nice and compliment me, and I don’t know a good way to respond that acknowledges their good intentions (I do want to maintain a good work relationship) and at the same time conveys “Don’t congratulate me on this shit.” Nobody said anything when I was recovering from my last relapse and gained a noticeable amount of weight, but now that I’m losing weight again they feel the need to tell me they think my body looks better. It only reinforces what we hear all the time: thin=good, fat=bad. When I’d had eating problems before I used to say “thank you” to these sorts of comments, because it was the easiest thing to do. I now realize that that’s completely counter-productive to changing fat-phobic culture, and I refuse to do it anymore. But I run the risk of revealing my eating disorder to people who have no right to know, just because they felt the need to comment on my body. No, I have not been working out. Yes, I have lost weight. My secret is a secret. Fuck off.
Thin privilege is being able to casually talk about how fat and gross someone is because you’re angry about how they acted towards you as if them being fat just makes them a jerk.
Thin privilege is never being embarrassed by your wedding photos.
I recently got married and am excitedly awaiting the arrival of my wedding photos in the post. To make the wait easier, the professional photographer I hired sent me a link to her online portfolio so I could see how some of my photos turned out.
But as I was scrolling past the albums of all the different couples, I started feeling embarrassed. Here were so many beautiful, thin, stylish couples in love. They were gorgeous. They looked like models out of a magazine! As I browsed through these strangers’ photos, I started thinking to myself: Why is my husband with me? He is a handsome man with an incredible personality. He could have any of the women in these photos! Why did he pick me?
And when I reached my own album, there was me. Big fat me. And I felt so ashamed. The photos themselves were beautiful: Very professional, gorgeous colors, wonderful lighting, etc. I couldn’t have asked for a better photographer. But I felt like the only thing letting them down was me. Big fat me. With my flabby arms, my double chins, and my chunky butt. I started feeling like I let down my husband by looking this way in our wedding photos.
This is why thin privilege is so harmful. Fat people are ridiculed, mocked, and bullied for our whole lives to the point where we start internalizing that hatred. We start thinking, “maybe there is something wrong with me. Maybe I should lose weight.”
And when I look back at photos of the important day of my life, instead of being happy, I’m embarrassed and ashamed.
Thin privilege is having weight gain as a side effect of birth control taken seriously.
I’ve always been around 20 pounds overweight for my height/age. I started taking birth control and over the course of the first year being on it, I gained between 10-15 pounds. My diet and exercise routine was consistent throughout being on the pill so it was odd that I put on weight.
When speaking to my gynecologist about the weight gain and asking to be put on a different amount of hormones, she told me that it was VERY unlikely that I put on weight because of the birth control. She put the blame on me and said I didn’t exercise enough/ate too much.
My naturally skinny sister and I have the same gyno and I asked her to tell the gyno she had gained weight as well. The gyno immediately said that they could try a different pill in order to combat the weight gain. Because she was naturally thin, the gyno believed her on her claim of weight gain. But because I was already overweight to begin with, she assumed it was my fault that I had put on weight!
I kept putting on more weight over the next few months and had read online that birth control can cause cysts in both the ovaries and on the thyroid. A few ultrasounds later, a cyst was discovered on my thyroid. The cyst was so large that it was causing my thyroid to act abnormally which caused my weight gain. (The thyroid basically controls metabolism)
If my gyno had believed me initially, the problem could have been dealt with sooner. But because of my weight, I had to wait more than 10 months to find out what the real problem was. I stopped taking birth control, the cyst disappeared, and I’ve been slowly losing the nearly 25-30 pounds I put on from being on birth control for two years.
Thin privilege is being taken seriously when you claim you’ve gained weight from a medication.