Literally that one girl was trying to educate herself, she asked if you could explain it for her. Then you tell her to shut the * up, and then immediately after, you berate her for not educating herself. Just… What? If you want people to educate themselves about your cause, maybe you shouldn’t get…
This has surprised me about the internet classes. How they expect to be spoon fed everything. Education to me means to draw out what is within. Not to keep forcing whole chunks of rote blurb that doesn’t connect to anything.
Its a peak into the product of education machines built on instilling mindless obedience in all who go through it.
What’s unique about ‘obesity’ is the usual admin and establishment stratas of society haven’t bothered with their usual dissemination of information of their preferred ‘facts’. This void has seemed to cause more confusion than if they actually did their usual “this is the standard operational bullshit we expect you to regard as the truth.”
In the absence of this, it’s as if the general ability to understand has broken down. It’s quite shocking.
There is nothing to educate oneself about the humanity of fat people. All people are human always. Slim people [and their fat submissives] get it completely when humanness is through slim people [as they show when they talk about “skinny shaming.”] They suspend this knowledge for fat people. They understand what fat acceptance is trying to achieve better than fat people, because they’re living it. Though, don’t assume that is the version fat people want.
It’s fat people who are educating ourselves on what it means to stop acting as if your own body isn’t whole, or re-embodiment. It’s we who are learning what it means to no longer repress yourself into a pretense of non-sentience and not to feel like that isn’t violating some profound ethical code.
I’m not bitter, and I’m not twelve, but fuck yes I’m angry. I’m angry at being treated like shit. I’m angry at having fewer opportunities for jobs, promotions and raises. I’m angry at being discriminated against and lectured by people who think they know what my health and lifestyle are by looking at my body. I’m tired of have petty little assholes like you come into my space and tell me how to act here. I’m tired of having people make death threats against me for daring to say that fat people are people, and deserve to be treated well.
You’re goddamn right I’m angry. And I have good reason to be angry. And if you think that disprivileged people have an obligation to be sweet and nice in order to have privileged people even hear them ask to be treated as fully human, then you are a bigot and part of the fucking problem.
I invite you, once again, to read the fucking FAQ, where all of this has been laid out by several mods in even greater detail. But you obviously think that we don’t fucking matter, so you can ignore our words even after they’ve been shown to you.
You are an asshole.
Literally that one girl was trying to educate herself, she asked if you could explain it for her. Then you tell her to shut the * up, and then immediately after, you berate her for not educating herself. Just… What? If you want people to educate themselves about your cause, maybe you shouldn’t get angry at them for doing that.
First of all, read the fucking FAQ. Always and forever, read the fucking FAQ.
Second, educating oneself means taking responsibility for one’s own education by going out and reading some of the millions of words already written by activists for the express purpose of educating people. Or, possibly, going to a blog that is specifically an education blog and asking them. It is not going to a blog that does not regularly do education and demand that they educate you. We do not owe anyone an education. It is not our job to educate you. We are not paid to do so. There are lots and lots of resources out there, and if you are truly interested in learning, go google for it.
Not everyone wants to do education. Not everyone is good at doing education. Even people who are good at it and want to do it don’t want to do it all the fucking time.
And, by the way, if the “question” you’re referring to is the one yesterday, with “how can it be a privilege”? That’s the asker attempting to educate themselves, it’s a statement of their belief with a question mark on the end. There’s a difference.
Ignorant people need to take charge of their OWN education, not demand that other people feed it to them in little bite-sized nuggets. That person clearly did not even understand what the fuck privilege actually is. They need to go google “privilege” and maybe “invisible knapsack” and a few other incredibly basic documents, if what they really want is to understand, instead of asking the first fat activists they come across. This one didn’t even bother to read the FAQ or search the blog, either. We really are not the blog to ask remedial-level questions about activism and justice, because nine times out of ten, we will cuss at you. And then some asshole like you will turn up to scold us for it, and we’ll cuss you out, too.
FUCK OFF, TONE TROLL.
Dear Tumblr, I need your help. If anything I’ve ever written or posted or said or did has ever impacted your life in a positive way, please read on.
A small donation could mean keeping my family safe from violence and homelessness. Every little bit helps.
The short version: my mom and my sister and my nephew were left homeless after my sister was assaulted in the home where they were staying. My grandmother died unexpectedly this week so they cannot stay with her (where they normally go in times of trouble). I am paying to keep them in a motel until the 29th of October but after that I am out of money. They need to keep a roof over their heads while they search for resources, meet with their social worker, and do everything else they can think of to secure longer-term housing for them and my baby nephew.
You can donate now at www.youcaring.com/helpmargitte (because fuck gofundme).
The long version:
Back in May, my 25-year-old sister Molly gave birth to a beautiful baby boy named Jericho. He is her first child, and my mother’s first grandbaby.
Because he was born slightly premature and my sister, a single mom, needed extra help, my mother moved in with them to support her.
Everything was going wonderfully at first. Jericho gained weight at a healthy pace, rarely cried, and was a generally happy and well-adjusted baby. My mom and my sister became a great co-parenting team, supporting each other, making sure they didn’t miss a single appointment, and providing all of the love, care, and attention Jericho needed.
But then my sister was physically assaulted by one of the male adults living in their home. He broke her nose, ruptured her eardrum, and gave her a concussion.
Needless to say, my sister and my mother moved out. At first they went to my grandmother’s (Jericho’s great-grandma), but her senior living apartment managers wouldn’t let them stay. (In an unrelated series of events, my grandmother suddenly and unexpectedly passed away last week, and we are all still figuring out how to cope without her.)
Currently, my mom and sister and baby Jericho are staying at a motel that I am paying for out of pocket—but I only have enough money to keep them there through next Wednesday.
That’s where you come in.
My mom and my sister are spending their days searching for resources and getting on waiting lists for low-income housing. They have a social worker and others helping them out, but they need more time.
I’m trying to raise enough money to keep them there for a full month or longer ($2000+) while they continue their search for other options. They also need gas money, food (they have a full kitchen in their motel room), and other essentials for them and the baby (diapers, money for laundry, etc.).
Raising this money could mean the difference between them finding a place to live for good and being completely homeless.
Thank you for considering donating to my family and helping me help them. And if you can’t donate, I’d love for you to share this with others. My family could really use a miracle right about now.
Tumblr I am officially blown away by your kindness and willingness to give to complete strangers. In less than 24 hours we’ve raised just under half of what we need! I am speechless!
We’ve seen donations from $2 all the way up to $300, from people I’ve never met before. My mom and my sister having been crying, they are beside themselves. THANK YOU.
And please, if you can donate—do! Their safety is so important and every little bit counts. This means the world to me.
Please share and donate!
(tw: mentions of dieting, weight loss talk, ableism)
Full disclosure, I’m a thin, able-bodied person, though neuroatypical and used to be fat. My dad has been fat for as long as I can remember and has a lot of internalized fatphobia, and has always been on some restrictive diet or another trying to lose weight, with none of them managing to get him down to his goal weight. My best friend is fat and disabled with scoliosis. In middle school she had to have surgery on her back and she was ordered by her doctor not to do any exercise for the rest of the school year, so she didn’t take P.E., even though she wanted to. At one point I was mentioning to my dad that I didn’t have any friends in my classes and I wished my friend could have taken P.E. with me, but she couldn’t. Then my dad started going into this rant about people making excuses about not exercising and how if people would exercise it would solve all their problems. I pointed out that she was ORDERED not to exercise, and she WANTED to exercise. But still he said “Well, sometimes the reason people have aches and pains is because they don’t exercise enough, and maybe if they did exercise it would get better.” I snapped “It’s not aches and pains, it’s scoliosis!” She was BORN with scoliosis. Exercising wouldn’t magically fix it.
Anyway, a few years later, I made friends with another girl with a disability that made it difficult for her to walk for long periods of time and very difficult for her to go up stairs or run around. She was thin. The whole time I knew her people were very respectful of her disability; when we had to play tag for class and she had trouble tagging people they slowed down, when we were doing activities that required walking all day people didn’t mind taking breaks for her and things. As far as I heard no one ever said to her face or to me behind her back that she “just needed to exercise more and it would help her.” Which I’m not complaining about; obviously that was how it’s supposed to be. I just wish my fat friend had the same respect.
Thin privilege is having your disability recognized as legitimate even if it makes it hard for you to exercise.
Well, first of all, it is NOT available to everyone. Very very few — like, statistically indistinguishable from zero, the US federal government keeps a database of a few thousand people who have managed it kind of very very few — fat people can actually lose enough weight to become thin, and keep it off. (And actually that database is for anyone who has lost of 30lbs and kept it off for long periods; I would need to lose 120lbs to be thin. Most fat people are a lot farther from “thin” than 30lbs. There are 319 million people in the US, and only 10k people the government tracks have lost 30lbs and kept it off. Even if only 1 in 10 people who have kept it off are in the registry, that’s three-one hundreths of one percent.) So your initial premise, that fat people can just become thin, is utter bullshit.
But that doesn’t matter. Do rich people not have privilege because anyone could win the lottery? Of course rich people have privilege. It’s laughable to think that they don’t. If most queer people could become straight or most POC could become white, but society was still structured the same way, that still would not mean that straight and white people were not systemically and structurally treated better than queer people and POC, and it still would not make the oppression of queer people and POC morally acceptable. So your second premise, your definition of privilege, is also utter bullshit.
Privilege is systemic and structural preference given to one group of people over another group. Whether or not people can control which group they’re in has nothing to do with it.
Most fat people spend years and decades, thousands of dollars, and uncounted gallons of tears trying desperately to become thin. Whether we choose to attempt weight loss or not, we have to deal with society and individuals both badgering us and shaming us to do so. You are one of those individuals.
Shut the fuck up. Examine your premises, and educate yourself.
Thin privilege is not having to constantly dodge your uncle’s questions concerning your weight.
Let me first start by saying that I am avid reader and that this blog has really opened my eyes to the world around me. I am by no means ‘small’, though I’ve lost a substantial amount of weight over the last two years. Sadly some of the weight has returned thanks to PCOS and being placed on various medications to control my hormone imbalance.
Anways a few weeks ago I receive a call out of the blue from my uncle. He’s a Facebook friend of mine, but we never actually communicate online or in person for that matter, so I guessed the call could be a quick ‘hi-and-bye’. Boy was I ever mistaken. As soon as he got on the line, he blurts out, ‘So how much are you weighing these days? Because the last time I saw you, you were tiny but from that recent picture you posted, (my friend happened to snap a picture of me when we were working out at the gym and tagged me) you look like you’ve gained a bit. You’re getting pretty big these days’.
By this time I am absolutely floored. Unsure how to respond, I *foolishly* confess to having gained a little, but that I was working to return to my lowest weight of 170lb. Instead of leaving it at that, he THEN tells me that I should work to be 140lbs. He wasn’t considering my body makeup or my height——this was just a magical number that he pulled out of his ass! By this time I’m trying not to burst into tears, but he’s still going on about how he wants me to be skinny and how I should stop eating *insert foods* or *doing said workouts [he even told me that I should stop weightlifting and focus entirely on cardio]*. Oh and let’s not forget the best part…How quickly reminds me that his daughter has just lost a ton of weight by merely walking for thirty minutes every evening. Can you say nail in the coffin?
In retrospect I feel bad for not telling him to mind his own fucking business (I’m quite the passive-aggressive person). That things were going swell for me until he intervened and tore down what little confidence I HAD gained. I know that it was his way of ‘caring’ so says my brother, but c’mon.. really?
Because they very much want to be able to treat people badly, and to feel good about doing so. As long as they can maintain the illusion that they have a good reason to treat people like shit, and especially if that reason is either because there’s something wrong with them or it’s for their own good, then they can continue to do so. They get pissed off at us because we say that it is not ok to treat us like shit, that it is not for our own good, and especially that there is nothing wrong with us.
We have an awful lot of resources linked from the FAQ and the archives (you can find a search box on the main page, or append “site:http://thisisthinprivilege.tumblr.com” to a google search). You should also look at Health at Every Size sites. There are a huge number of studies out there that show that weight loss simply does not work in the long term, that the vast majority of people gain back everything they lose, and that 2/3 of people gain back more, and that this is true whether or not they stay on the diet. Indeed, a “success” in a diet or weight loss drug study is claimed when people lose 5-10% of their starting body weight. That’s it. Why? Because that’s all most people can lose and keep off. There are a whole stack of studies out there showing that weight is nearly as inheritable as height.
But even people who choose to be fat (and they exist) deserve to be treated well. No one deserves to be treated the way fat people are treated. No one. Period. It should not matter why someone is fat, nor is it any of anyone’s business why anyone is fat. You can find a bunch about that in the archives, too.
In short, your friend is both factually and morally wrong. Basically this entire blog is about that. But you’re not going to convince him, because frankly, he simply wants to hate fat people, and, like any bigot, he will be utterly resistant to any facts to the contrary. We’ve posted these studies and articles, and if he’s read the blog he’s seen them, and he doesn’t care. He also simply doesn’t care that fat people are being mistreated. He will listen only to what confirms his prejudice. He’ll even double down if you show him evidence that he’s wrong, in all likelihood. Argue with him if you want to, and good on you for it, but don’t expect to convince him.
Well, first of all, I know you’re a fucking troll. Your blog is full of fat hate and misogynist gamergate bullshit. You are why bronies have a bad name.
Hypotheticals are bullshit, and people’s health is still not anyone else’s fucking business. People get to make their own fucking decisions. That’s true at whatever weight. Shaming is shaming, no matter what justification the asshole shamer uses, and it is not ok to shame anyone for anything that isn’t directly harming another person. (You wanna shame a rapist, an abuser, a murderer? I’m good with that.)
We have said all of this before. Your boring-ass, trite “questions” — which aren’t really, you’re clearly aware of what our opinions are, what you’re doing is expressing the opinion that we’re wrong and trying to prove, I dunno, some point you think you have — are ones we’ve answer before. You’re just being an asshole.
So. Fuck off, troll.
abreezeinthedoor replied to your post “Thin privilege is being able to go on the rides at Cedar Point. I…”
I live in Virginia and quite a few of the rides in our amusement parks have changed certain rows to have larger seats. Or instance in the break out queue where you pick rows it says “larger seating available in rows -insert rows here-“
As much as the trolls insist that it’s not possible to make rides accessible for fatties, it just isn’t true.
Fat chance is a sarcastic variation on slim chance, which of course means very little or no chance. Fat, here, is a neutral term that is merely the opposite of slim, and no more negative than it.
What’s not ok is fat used as an intensifier of a clearly negative term, such as big fat liar.
That’s my position, anyway.
Scolding fat people for our feelings about how we are treated, how we respond to being treated badly, what we consider to be bad treatment, or indeed basically anything to do with our bodies and fatness and how society perceives us is never, ever respectful. It is not respectful of our opinions, our personhood, or ourselves.
Things You Know Nothing About By Looking At Someone’s Body Shape:
- What their health is like
- How much and what they eat
- How much they exercise
- How they feel about their body
- How much they “respect” their body
- How much “willpower” they have
- How much weight they can lift
- How soon they will die
- Whether or not they are addicted to anything
- Anything at all about them
If you think that you know any of these things by looking at someone, then you are a bigot and a horrible human being, and you can fuck right off.
Thin privilege is being able to go on the rides at Cedar Point.
I went with my partner and some of her family to Cedar Point yesterday. 2/3 of the rides we wanted to go on, I had to sit out because the seats were too small in one or more dimensions (I’m also pretty tall with long legs). Of the ones where I fit in, all but one involved being crushed in a painful or uncomfortable way, often partially impeding my breathing. It is pretty good that they have “tester” seats at the entrance to the line of many of the rides so you can check and see whether you will fit, but also telling - they probably wouldn’t have them out front if there wasn’t a popular need for them. In fact, while I was waiting for the people I was with, I would often see several other people try out the tester seat within a few minutes and find that it was too small. I don’t expect that they will ever change this, because having more than one standardized size of seat would cost just a bit of extra money (which, let’s not fool ourselves, is entirely what this is about) but the fact that it won’t change doesn’t make it RIGHT. I had fun on the rides I could get into, despite being crushed, but I decided that I won’t be going back, because the experience was one of being excluded at every turn, and I don’t usually volunteer for that.