Thin privilege is not having to join Jazz, Ballet, Tap, African Dance, Step and Basketball at 8 years old (while dealing with chronic asthma) to prove to your mother that you’re trying not to be the ‘fat disgusting whale of a daughter’ she says you are.
(This is my first time submitting, so I really hope I don’t screw it up)
Thin Privilege is being complimented without your weight being brought into it.
From the end of 2011 until Sept of 2012 I worked as an English teacher in China, while I did indeed experience a lot of fat-phobia and comments from strangers over there, the main issue was the dirty environment and conditions. As such, I had to leave China before my year contract ended because I was suffering severe stomach problems and hair loss. I made many friends over there (among the foreign teacher population of the city) and kept in contact with them after coming back to the states.
When I arrived home, I found that I was suffering from complications with my diabetes (type 1.5), but, also parasitic infection and arsenic poisoning. As I tried to work on these problems, I was never consciously trying to lose weight, I tend to fluctuate quite heavily between size 14-18 and have always done so since I was first diagnosed with diabetes at 12. Anyway, as I started to get treated and started taking many things for my ailments, including many herbs, supplements, etc I started to lose weight, I think while in China, I had stayed kind of a steady 16-17, but I dropped more into a 14-15 range after being sick for a while.
Anyway, I’ll get to the point, after I had started to recover and feel better, I posted a picture on facebook, with my thinner and pale looking face (only a face shot), again my purpose had nothing to do with weight loss, I’m not on some quest to drop to a small size or anything. I had someone who I considered to be a good friend, a kind man I’d met in China, message me kind of out of the blue and say “You are looking so beautiful, I knew that if you lost weight, you’d be a man killer”
I found this surprisingly insulting, and as stated I believe that thin privilege is being complimented without your weight being part of the compliment.
Ok, I like to visit a site called funnyjunk because their front page is filled with, usually, funny content. But recently, a new trend has started on FJ; Fat Shaming Fridays. Every Friday there are multiple posts abusing and making fun of fat people, all for the sake of “luls”. Stay away from funnyjunk.com! I have completely stopped going on the site and have deleted my account.
[tw: fat hate]
Thin privilege is not having to see posts like this http://thetolkiengeek.tumblr.com/post/91466624258/coldwinterrose-spoken-not-written on your dashboard. Post that are riddled with false concern for the “health” of “obese” people. Post that have lines like “People become obese for many reasons, and not all of those are necessarily their fault. Some of them are even mostly outside of their own control, and those people deserve sympathy, not hate.” No I don’t deserve your hate or sympathy and who the fuck cares why I’m fat? It’s none of your fucking business. And posts like this hurt even more when they come from people who follow who post wonderful feminist and anti-racism commentary. Look, I love your blog, but if you continue posting fatphobic propaganda I’m gonna have to unfollow you.
(disclamer: I am not fat and I am not trying to speak for fat people. I just wanted to share my observations)
I turned on the tv the other day and the channel was set to TLC. The show Sister Wives on, and even though I don’t really like it I watched it for a few minutes because whatever, I was bored. This entire episode was concerning how one of the wives had been trying to lose weight, without much success (I have to point out here that she wasn’t that fat to begin with, but I do believe the is the largest among the wives) Apparently after a while of attempting to diet/exercise, she had ended up gaining instead of losing weight. Her personal trainer was being VERY rude to her at her weigh-in, saying things implying that she was a failure, didn’t care about her body, etc. What shocked me most was during the interview/commentary afterwards, she was very upset and said something along the lines of “I wonder how long I will keep this up before I finally give up and accept that I will always be fat and nothing will change that.” She said this in a way meaning that to accept her body the way it is would mean failure, that thinness is the only option for her. I thought that was extremely harmful and turned off the tv after that.
To start, I’ve been reading your blog on and off for a while. I wanted to say that it disgusts me how many stories I’ve read that talk about doctors focusing on weight as the major problem for most/all medical problems. As someone who plans to go into Physical Therapy, I wish I wasn’t almost done…
Hey, 4th year medical student here. I just want to start off saying that I fully support body positivity and that “lovely” comes in all shapes and forms. I see this as a separate issue from physical health. If someone has a high LDL cholesterol (which not all overweight people have, btw) and they have had or are at high risk for heart attack, diabetes, etc., I am morally obligated to advise them to try and lose weight or take a statin to lower their LDL cholesterol. I don’t say this to just anyone who is overweight, and I do my very best to do so in a kind manner. Please feel free to give advise as to what kinds of things doctors should and shouldn’t say when having this conversation.
Morally obligated? For fuck’s sake, it isn’t even clear whether weight loss lowers LDL cholesterol in the long term.
I feel morally obligated to inform you to learn a fuckload more before you advise anyone to do anything. And even then you should question every fucking thing you read, because half of it is statistical horseshit anyway.
Usually that kind of hate is reactionary. They’re desperate to validate the privation of dieting. I pity them, because I remember being there, always sizing myself up against my former fat self and other people around me. Even though gaining thin privilege was a trip (passing can be a trip) it wasn’t worth what you have to do to yourself, and how you have to start viewing other people (sizing them up against your fucked up measure). But that’s my perspective.
To start, I’ve been reading your blog on and off for a while. I wanted to say that it disgusts me how many stories I’ve read that talk about doctors focusing on weight as the major problem for most/all medical problems. As someone who plans to go into Physical Therapy, I wish I wasn’t almost done so I could change my major to become a GP. So then, I’d have a chance to be able to help diagnosis medical problems. I hope that eventually our medical system can be overhauled so that we actually focus on fixing problems, rather than trying to just promote unnecessary weight loss with little explanation or advice.
Why do all of your stories happen at the doctor? Either you’re lying, or you people spend way too much time at the doctor considering you “hate” them… You do know normal people don’t visit the doctor that often, right?
Oh, I do so love it when they supposedly read this blog and still manage to miss that there are submissions from thousands of people on here. Doctors and medical professionals have a demonstrate bias against fat people, so a lot of incidents happen at doctors. Every fat person I know has stories about how this doctor or that nurse. Of course we get a ton of them. But some people are so fucking busy stoking their own hatred that they can’t see what’s obvious.
(submitted by anon)
When I was little, my sister and I were underweight because we were constantly sick, though just with a cold or strep or ear infection, since we had such large tonsils. Food tends to taste funny when you’re sick, so we didn’t eat very much, either. After we got our tonsils removed when we were 8, we struggled for a bit with recovering and people kept begging us to eat, even dessert foods. But once we got better, we started to gain weight rapidly because we could finally eat and enjoy food and we weren’t ill all the time. No one begged us to eat anymore. We both became overweight, and at our next doctor’s appointment when we were 9, they told us we needed to slow down. My sister said, “I like being able to eat now!” and the doctor responded, “Well, eating all the time isn’t a good thing”. She told us we needed to exercise more and control our intake or we’d continue to be overweight, like it was the worst possible thing. Finally we’d done what people had always asked us to, and then it was wrong? I’m against anyone trying to dictate another person’s diet, but I can still remember hearing that as a child and thinking I’d done something wrong, and it stuck with me til now.
awk reclaiming a word yourself isn’t the same as calling other people a word they might take as a slur lmao
Reclaiming it is extremely common in the lesbian community, and if anything even more so among butch women. I have been active in LGBT and specifically butch and femme communities for twenty years, and I have never met a butch lesbian who objected to another dyke using the word about butches. If there are any actual butch lesbians reading who were actually bothered by it, then I apologize to them for presuming to use it about them. The rest of you can fuck off.
I am a dyke. I am reclaiming that word, as many queer women do.
Thin privilege is not only getting complimented after you starve yourself.
I had EDNOS up until last year. I lost a ton of weight due to starving myself and I was miserable. People complimented me left and right, encouraging me to lose EVEN MORE weight than I already had, giving me tips for how to lose more weight, telling me I looked good.
My parents ignored it altogether. My friends encouraged me and didn’t say a word when I threw my lunch away at school instead of eating it, and they laughed when I called myself fat and disgusting.
It couldn’t believe it. I waited and waited for someone to tell me, hey, you look fine, you should stop losing weight or you’ll end up hurting yourself. That never happened. In the end, I took it upon myself to realize that I was hurting myself, and I’d never be able to please these people.
Basically, if you’re fat, any means of losing weight is good to thin people. Even when your meds take away your appetite, causing you to eat less and lose weight. Even if you starve yourself. Even if you throw up everything. It’s all going to be encouraged.